Hmmm...maybe HairDog, Geek Speek and GonnaGoBlind can put a class together! LOL
One more thing about the exHD - I hear from him sometimes - I know BAD BAD BAD!!!! We're both married with kids and lives - it's just chat - that's all.
My H does the same almost telepathic method of letting me know he's interested. Could these boys of ours be shy?
Bad. Bad. The bad thing about keeping up with ex-HD is that it keeps you from fully investing in your current R. I know because I had BIG problems with ex-H and kept up an occasional convo with a ex-bf and I only realized that he was my "back up" plan when he died in 9/11. When that happened my ex-H and I were divorced and I realized that I had kinda kept the ex-bf in my "back pocket" all of those years (even though he was happily married by that point).
Sorry for the hijack HP. I think that we all have our little escape routes and I didn't want to let this one go. I try to catch myself on mine too.
Doc, What can I ever do to thank you. Here I was wondering why I would stumble when getting up out of a chair and the pooping my pants...oh my!...what to do about that. And you figured it all out for me. What a friend.
However, here is another diagnosis. He's not really doing it!!
hee hee. I have been paying attention since he said that (3 days ago) and he has done no such thing. I couldn't believe that I was missing such a thing and it turns out, I'm not.
Actually he probably does do it but it is nowhere NEAR an every day frequency. Please, like I'd miss that! I'll keep an eye on him and see how often we're really talkin.
So doctor I think we'd better start looking for the following symptoms: delusional husband thinks he's grabbing a$$.
My H suffers from the exact same delusion. When I mention the lack of kissing he says he kisses me "all the time." That means hello and good-by and good-night most of the time. I mean - quality kisses of which there are 0 unless we are ML. My H is convinced that he grabs my @ss "all the time" too. I think we need a digital scoreboard. Then they can get points when they actually do those things.
Frankly, I don't "get" your H. If I had a W who let me squeeze her tush, I'd be all over that like white on rice.
As far as the issue with the "working 5 minutes to get him aroused" goes, I wouldn't dwell on it, unless it becomes a common occurrence. Some times, especially as one gets older, you just need a little persuading.
Alright, so the little fella needed persuading. I wasn't dwelling on it, I just thought it was weird. Here he suggested we ML, and then couldn't get aroused. I suppose I've always known that his arousal isn't present when we start, sometimes, but there has never been this much physical evidence to back that up.
I could even learn to enjoy this and really use that time period to do some interesting things to get his engine going. Right now, he initiates and wants to start ML right away. He has come to dislike foreplay.
Never used to be like that.
There are so many things that I've "ruined" by insisting on fixing the SSM.
Maybe I've emasculated him and I need to remasculate him. Who knows!
I've often wondered how to go about re-masculating H. If you ever figure it out let me know. I do suspect that when the H is the LD having the W point out that she isn't sexually satisfied is an ego-damaging experience that it is't if the the LD person is a woman. Go ahead folks - flame away but I think that due to societal expectations the impact is not the same. Likewise, when the W is the HD we often feel like a "b@ll buster" or a "slut." Anyways HP, you could always try to really hokey stuff like in "Light His Fire" by Ellen Kreidman where you call him "tarzan" and stuff.
Oh my that is too funny. H would bust a gut if I said that. He is a witty type 6 and I am a playful type 7, so something like that would not work...too hokey, like you said.
However! What a good idea for a book. I will look it up on Amazon. Update: (my posts sometimes take an hour to complete since I'm running after kids while doing it, lol) I looked on Amazon and this book gets rave reviews. I am skittish, however, that it's geared towards LD women, kinda like Dr. Laura's Feeding and Sexing your Husband or whatever the hell it was called.
I'd be majorly ticked to spend my cash on a book that says to feed him and sex him. Can you give me any more info on it? Anyone who's read it?
