Doc,
What can I ever do to thank you. Here I was wondering why I would stumble when getting up out of a chair and the pooping my pants...oh my!...what to do about that. And you figured it all out for me.
What a friend.

However, here is another diagnosis. He's not really doing it!!

hee hee. I have been paying attention since he said that (3 days ago) and he has done no such thing. I couldn't believe that I was missing such a thing and it turns out, I'm not.

Actually he probably does do it but it is nowhere NEAR an every day frequency. Please, like I'd miss that! I'll keep an eye on him and see how often we're really talkin.

So doctor I think we'd better start looking for the following symptoms: delusional husband thinks he's grabbing a$$.

Love,
Your Patient