Quote: How about just saying, "mmmm, that feels good."
I know that would be enough positive reinforcement for me. Of course, not getting smacked upside the head with a frying pan is enough positive reinforcement for me.
Hairdog
Hairdog - you crack me up! Thanks for the laugh!!
Karen & HP - you are describing my situation. I asked H if he ever thinks about sex - he said not really, just the day after ML (although ONCE he did say that he thought about me all day - whoopee - once in 17 years). He was surprised when I told him that I do.
I am to the point where I suppress my HD so that I don't feel disappointed. This is bad. I need to be me. My H would be nearly perfect if he would just be more aggressive (aka horny would be nice). Should I tell him that I want to be chased around the house? Should I buy a can of chocolate icing, hand to to him and say "come get me"? I had an HD right before I met H - he was mad crazy HD and in love with me (this is looong story - let's just say he broke my heart and I met H and got engaged less than 6 months later). I feel the LD pang even more because I have honey-covered (yes - literally), adventurous memories of ex-HD.
My H is the kind of guy that does just what he needs to do -nothing above and beyond. This is true in his work life and his home life. He is not a go-getter. I wonder how much this plays into the HD/LD. His only goal each day (from what I can tell) is to get in front of the TV after the kids go to sleep. I know that if I got naked while he was watching TV he'd tell me that I was blocking his view (and not because I'm a big girl 'cause I'm not!) (DOH!).
OK I am pointlessly ranting - sorry. Does your H ever tell you that he loves you? I never hear that. I get a perfuntory kiss hello, goodbye, and goodnight. No ass grabbing, no ogling - nada - invisible. He used to be really bothered when I grabbed him or tried to hug & kiss him, so I stopped. I also stopped initiating - how many pissed-off sleepless nights on the couch can a girl take? Now he says I should try to initiate & try to hug & kiss him. I am not sure if I can trust him with that part of me again. I wish they had "How to be a Horny Husband 101" class that I could send him to.
