My late husband was a 9, and I don't think bf is one. The 9 can see all sides of a situation and is agreeable to a fault. My late H did not have a malicious bone in his body or an angry one. I'm reading right now in one of my enneagram books about the 8, and it's possible bf falls into this group. He and the C have identified Anger as The Bear Who Lives Inside of Him. He is seething with unexpressed anger. This would not be true of a 9. The 9 might be passive-aggressive but would not be boiling with rage. Bf once broke a guy's leg in a fight. He slugged his mom when he was 16 because she wouldn't stop slapping him. Issues? Yeah.

I get what you're saying about your H's desire for routine, and I'm not suggesting that your H is systematically practicing Denial of the Urges of the Body, I'm just saying that as a devout Catholic, all things being equal, he would be able to find virtue and a positive reason for ignoring his erection in favor of sleep. Someone who did not see Mastery of the Body as a good thing probably would just give in to the erection, ML, and fall asleep, without thinking too much about it.

Edited to add: The enneagram book I'm reading says that the 8, 9, and 1 (HD's wife) all have rage under the surface. The 2, 3, and 4 have shame. The 5, 6, and 7 have fear. This is really interesting. I think he is an 8, not a 7. What a relief... I couldn't believe a 7 could be so mean all the time. Thanks for the heads-up, HP.

Last edited by Lillieperl; 07/28/05 04:37 PM.