I survived yesterday and that is a blessing! I met with H and I took responsibilty for my faults in our past and apologized. I was not whining or begging for anything of that nature. I needed to do it for me. I felt some of the weight removed from my shoulders last night after my initial tear session after I was done. H said nothing. Not a word. H only called my mom and told her to call me. I did not speak to H or have contact all night. Was a very rough day. Was even worse than I expected b/c H never said a word. This am when I checked had 3 emails from H. I read them but did not answer for awhile. Had to finally as dealt with my S8 and his practice at 1230. H wants to come with kids and I to movie and dinner to celebrate my D9's making a travel team in soccer. Was a surprise and she is so excited. Do I allow H to go or tell him no and hurt my D9. Is rough. I am emotionally in a better place this day as a result of telling my H yesterday. My plans were to not avoid him but not see him either but realistically it is impossible with baseball everyday. I don't want to miss my S8's games. S8 is my caring one and is always thinking of me. How do I do this and have a win/win situatuion??? Also I am back to the decision about the trip coming up to CA in 3 weeks. Do we go or not? H told my mom last chance to (hesitation) do this. She said as if he stopped for fear of saying something he wasn't ready to admit. Any thoughts?
H is so comfortable around me it is scary but once he thinks about it gets nervous and seems to back off. Is this me wanting this or H afraid? I have no idea what is going on with his OW. has not seen her much that I am aware of no time. I thought H was with OW last night but was asleep til 11 due to stress I inflicted on him I guess. H wants to spend eve with kids vs OW tonight. I am rambling but am looking for answers that are not quite as biased as mine!
