Quote: up until now we both put pressure on me to be happy with whatever he offered sexually because he was trying. Just saying, It is nice and I love him to bits for making it a priority.
This is the first step and it is where some of the people are on this BB, "I just want to see some effort, to know that s/he is trying, that s/he is making an effort, going to the C, reading the books, 'working' on the problem," etc.
But then there comes the next step: after you as the spouse wanting changes are fully appreciative of your partner's EFFORTS, then you start thinking about RESULTS, and then ultimately YOUR OWN SATISFACTION and whatever brings you ultimate satisfaction.
It's like you appreciate their going grocery shopping, studying cookbooks, and setting a beautiful table with flowers and everything, but there comes a time when you just want to sit down to the table and eat some home cooking! Reading cookbooks and talking about cooking are not the same as EATING.
I think you stated it very well, honey, when you acknowledged that as much as you appreciate your H's efforts and the giant strides that you two have made, the bottom line is that your body/soul/heart/mind/spirit needs real sex about four times a week for you to feel satiated. His efforts are all well and good, but if he can only meet you on your ground once a week, and you have to drag him there or do without the other three times, you will not have that lovely, full-up, my soul is overflowing feeling that would make you so happy.
I experienced this satiation with only one person. When we were together, we would ML in the morning, then lie around and talk for a while, then ML again. Then, finally, we would do it one more time, and only then did I feel completely full, satisfied, happy, and ready to get up and go get some breakfast. This didn't happen all the time, but I remember how great I felt for the rest of the day-- just completely happy, contented, physically at peace. That's the only R I ever had where my complete physical satiation was an option. This guy was a 7 (he's deceased now ) and was able to really lose himself in physical pleasure. Frankly, we did not have a deep, deep emotional connection, although we loved each other and really liked each other. But from him I learned that a deep physical compatibility can be a window into utter happiness, peace, and connectedness-- this is apart from orgasms, performance, timing, mood, etc. I thought I was getting that again with my 7 bf, but I guess all 7's aren't like that. But, honey, as a 7, you (and JJ) seem to have that capacity for deep physical happiness. It IS lovely. I really miss it.
P.S. I love conversations about spirituality, God, God-human relations and would probably jump at the chance to discuss issues like that any time of the day or night. Even Catholic spirituality. Yesterday morning my bf complained that I bounce out of bed "spewing" spiritual philosophy.
) and was able to really lose himself in physical pleasure. Frankly, we did not have a deep, deep emotional connection, although we loved each other and really liked each other. But from him I learned that a deep physical compatibility can be a window into utter happiness, peace, and connectedness-- this is apart from orgasms, performance, timing, mood, etc. I thought I was getting that again with my 7 bf, but I guess all 7's aren't like that. But, honey, as a 7, you (and JJ) seem to have that capacity for deep physical happiness. It IS lovely. I really miss it. 
