Quote: Sick, you described his motive exactly. I don't reject him and yet he's so scared of it that he will put out these tentative feelers rather than truly make an initiation. It's not all that arousing. It comes off as "I'll have sex with you if you want" rather than "I'd like to ML to you".
Its really hard to "teach" someone to take initiative. And telling someone to "start taking initiative" is pretty useless. Your husband is going to have to learn to be more confident in himself, and thats not an easy task. I'm in the exact same boat as your husband, except my wife is at the point of divorce... so atleast you still have a chance.
I would discuss going to a therapist. Talking to him about it on your own will probably not lead anywhere productive since he'll take it as you complaining rather than trying to help your relationship.
He'll probably resist the idea of going, and will probably insist on trying to work on it alone... Thats what I did.
You might even have to go as far as setting up the appointment and give him a date to show up.. then he'll take you seriously.
The thing is, this probably has alot to do with something that has happened in his past, or even in the past with YOUR relationship. Maybe something happened where he felt rejected or made fun of, and that can cause lasting issues.
