Boy that sounds like my marriage, only I'm the H. (DOH!)
Your description sounds almost exactly like me, and its something that has caused (atleast in part) a lot of distress in my marriage. I'm not out of the woods, and am still on the verge of divorce, so take what I say with a grain of salt.
I enjoy sex with my wife. I just feel like I don't want to do something that she's not wanting to do. When I do initiate (or think I'm initiating) she gives me no signal that this might be something that she wants. So I stop. Sometimes my wife would say, "What? Are you wanting something?" Kind of a deflater if you ask me.
I think it has something to do with a fear of rejection. I don't want to get all excited, then "rejected" when my wife doesn't feel like it. The kicker is that she's never really "rejected" me before, but its still there in the back of my mind.
Its a confidence thing, I think you really need to let him know both verbally and physically that what he is doing is turning you on.. I don't mean moaning and growning, but at least kiss him back, or say, "I like it when you do that." Something nice to encourage him. Don't just lay there. Maybe after awhile, he'll start being more confident in his approach.
I don't know.. thats what I want from my wife... maybe it might help with your sitch.
