Old thread locked out. I hate starting new ones but this one's gonna be the last, LOLOL.
Thank you all for the input on my last thread.
I see that I am confusing folks on what I mean about MrH pursuing me. I simply mean that I want him to act more like a typical guy and less like a typical woman. Chrissy chimed in and said that her H wants her to be more aggressive and pursue him. Yes, but he doesn't sit back and never look at you, feel you, compliment you, etc, basically acting like a friendly male roommate and then BAM want you to do all the work in the sack.
This is where I need Jenny to help me out. It is particular to being an HDW or having an LDH. The LDW's or the HDH's are too much in their mindset of thinking that all guys act a certain way. Well they don't. Mine acts nothing like a "typical" guy. Mostly I'm glad for that. But sexually speaking it lacks.
Truth be told, I have no aspirations for him to become a 'typical' guy, whatever that is. I just want him to learn to be a little more aggressive. The style we have going on now is just NOT working for me.
But like I said, this is not the time to bring it up.
I had my girls night out and it was fun of course. I got home and MrH was nice enough to wait up for me--that made me feel great. Plus, he had set up my breast pump (ah the joys of nursing a baby) as I had been gone from her for 4 hours. I climbed into bed and he said Good NIGHT! and I got my feelings hurt. I hate pre-emptive strikes and he knows that. I called him on it immediately and he said he was just kidding--he swore it in fact and kept repeating, I didn't mean anything by it. Ok, I thought..I'm bein a little too sensiteev. Then he started caressing me and stroking me a tiny bit, for about 2 minutes. I couldn't really tell where he was going with this..the touches were so light, more like a light massage than foreplay. Then he stopped and rolled over onto his back and laid there. By this time I was totally confused. So I asked him and he said, I was initiating but you didn't do anything. I said, THAT was an initiation? Yes he did technically touch the bits but it was so light and tentative and caress-like that I had no idea what he was doing. He will often do something like this on nights when he doesn't want to ML...get the physical-touch- towards-wife portion of his day completed. Which is absolutely fine with me and I love it and appreciate it.
Normally when he initiates I don't have a problem discerning what he is doing. This was a weird one. So I took the helms and began doing the work. He said, I didn't know what you wanted so I didn't want to proceed. I said, If you want to ML I would love it if you would say, I want you. He mumbled something. I said, H! Will you say that next time? He said sure. I know I shouldn't have pushed the issue (control) but I am so sick of him having the requirement of SEEING my desire first, before he will make a move of his own. If I put on an act, I am being dishonest, if I don't, the whole thing stops on a dime. So who's being controlling?!
I don't mind showing desire but a couple minutes of caressing my stomach and breasts and a light sweep over the bits is just not enough for me to be audibly panting or whatever it is that he's looking for. I do make enjoyment noises..wait, you know what. It's not about what I'm doing or not doing. It's about the fact that he wants to make a small first move, then roll on his back and have me do the rest. That's laziness.
Ah but now I'm getting into a negative spiral. The end result was that we connected just fine though we had an awkward beginning.
I woke up horny as ever this morning. Just couldn't hardly function (this was before my kids woke up and drove any trace of that from me with their incessant demands, lol). I desperately need to get back in a groove with my husband that allows me to be the person I like to be. Relaxed, kind, un-anxious, abiding by the church's rules on mb--which I do, but grudgingly, and loving. Sex every 3 or 4 days just leaves me feeling as if I'm not starving. I'm being fed but you sure can't call it fulfilled.
Then all these other issues start to crop up. As soon as things settle down in our home, I'm going to try to get us back on track. Folks, pray that my husband decides to join me in this endeavor!
