Gywn, once again, NYS is right. "Rushed reunions result in permanant seperations." I know. This has happened more than I would like to count. As a result in getting back too soon or "trying it again", my W and I keep getting worse.
If you read my sitch..way back...I was writing the same words you were writing...I think most of us were at one point....well, it does get better. Don't you hate that when you read or hear that? That doesn't help right now, does it?
I would write....I want peace. It turned into a discussion on what kind of meds to take to survive the day. I did end up taking Abiem (sp) to sleep...that worked. Others mentioned anti-depressants. I decided to keep away from those but if you are at your wits-end...that is something you might try.
The only way to continue this painful journey is to continue the journey. In other words, stop stalling. Another thing you mentioned was that you have a relationship with GOD. Don't give up on him. He really helped me out when I was at my worst. He picked me up and showed me the way out of the mess. I think if you ask him for guidance, you will see that taking the journey that is ever so painful, that that is the path for eventual healing. It's time to start. You are delaying because you are trying to hold on to yesterday. Yesterday is gone. Today is hard. Tommorrow is the going to be a "new normal". It is going to be up to you how you handle this new normal. If you handle it right with all of us helping you, then the chances are better for a sucessful life and hopefully a successful R with H.
Gywn, time to get going. It's time to GAL. It's time to take the first step away from today's pain.
