Gwyn,

I haven't followed your sitch, so I may be speaking out of line here, but I feel that you still love your H. All of the feelings you have are normal, but don't base a decision on just what you are feeling. Read this article (heck, read the whole website) and think about everything before you make a move to divorce:

Restoration: Four Hurdles You Must Face

Bryan Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.