Peace, a little. I feel empty, I feel sad, I feel like a failure, I feel like I've been defeated. I am totally crashing and burning. I can't stand being with myself at this point. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal, I'm just in a grieving state because I know how bad I wanted this marriage to work, but it's not happening for me and I have got to move beyond this M before I can truely feel whole again. This, my friends, is the hardest thing I've ever done. To love someone as much as I loved my H, to give my M everything that I could give and yet it wasn't enough. I have nothing inside but total disgust in myself because I was not able to "get over it" and "let it go". What is wrong with me? Why can't I be like the others on this board? I hope that one day I'll find those answers. I just pray that I'm not making the biggest mistake of my life.
Peace, comes from understanding, and since I can't understand why I'm not able to get over my H's A, peace is hard to come by. But I'm trying to find it!
