That's a really good question, Gwyn. There seem to be a lot of books on the subject that people recommend, though no titles come immediately to mind. I'd also suggest you ask this question over in the Piecing forum. There are a lot of folks there dealing with trying to make things work after the affair. They'll probably be very helpful.
Just don't abandon all of us over here!
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go