I am very emotionally sick. I realize that I am stuck right now and cannot move anywhere because I don't know what path I want. Will time help me? Or will time be the downfall of our marriage? My H won't wait forever and I'm very fearful that if he did leave me and give up for good, I'm afraid that I would regret that, but right now I hate him so much (I know it's an emotion but it's the only word I can think of to show my contempt) that I can't see my future. I don't know what I want. I want what we had but that is forever lost. I do not what I don't want. I don't want to be single. I despise all that garbage out there and I'm too old for the game playing. I feel sometimes that the only reason I want to stay in the M is because I don't want to be single. My H won't stay single long if we should divorce, he is to needy for a R. He has to love someone.
