Tammy - I've been away for a while and I hadn't really posted much on myself before that. My last thread was Swan Song and I think my first thread was Phoenix Rising. It's a jumbled journey to say the least.
Thumbnail recap: We're mid-30s, been together one way or another 21 years (yikes!); teen son. Anyway, I was the perfect woman for a verbally abusive-destructive alcoholic dope addict. Meaning I twisted myself into knots trying to do what I thought I was supposed to do but in reality I was playing my role in keeping it that messed up.
I had already filed for D when I re-aquainted myself with Michele's work and yahooed to this site. I really wanted to save my marriage and family. Just before that I asked IGgy (H) if he really wanted to be married to me and he said he did. I told him that I thought we needed to take 6 months (yep, 6) apart so that we could both do what we needed to do and not interfere with the other. He reluctantly agreed. From then, I'd say it was less than two months and we started trying to relate to each other as people. Most of that is documented here from early 01 (I had to re-register a while ago) - anyway...
It's been a very difficult road here and I knew it was a 1 in a million shot from the get go but you know what? I am really not the same weak scared woman I was and he has learned a great deal as well. Will we reconcile? I still don't see it because he's still hanging on to some big things I honestly cannot live with. But we have never (and I mean never) been able to relate to each other (as human beings) as we do now. And I believe that the root of that is thru Michele's work. And Susan Forward, Iylanla Vanzant, Joyce Meyer, Ed Young, Phil McGraw, Gary Smalley...
And very many wonderful people who sit here typing on this messageboard. Really. There are some real gems here who I really don't want to get into naming cause I'd miss some.
Anyway, to you I would say the more confidence you can allow yourself to have with your gut, the better your chances. The quicker you can work thru your emotions the better. The more willing you are to take a chance and really guage the results - the better. You have to get analytical. For me, I found IGgy would react really badly when I found something that worked - because he wanted me to stop it.
Anyway, The fact that your contact is good is a great sign. Really enjoy those positive things, regardless in how small they are. And for the setbacks? Try to learn from them but don't dwell. Don't make your R the center of your universe. Being healthy is the most important thing to me. And don't expect things to happen overnite tho some things really do happen quickly when they do.
Good luck to you hon. I don't know how much I'll be returning over time but I'll be sure to check in with ya periodically. You can do it chickie! Rah! Rah! Rah!
