H is growing more impatient everyday. He's not going to give me much more time and the pressure is reaking havoc on me. Any advise?
Well, I think you're continually in the path of being reminded of the A simply because you're involved with restoring your relationship. So the past is continually being served to you. I get the sense then that as your pain wells up from those reminders and triggers, then you want H to know how bad it hurts, and you act in a way that lashes out at him so that he'll hurt just like you hurt.
Or is it that you inwardly do feel responsible and guilty for the marriage failing, and you're unconsciously sabotaging the relationship now to punish yourself.
Or you're sabotaging the relationship now because you're afraid if it repairs that it will only fall apart once more and hurt again.
I really don't know why you're acting the way you are, so...
What do you think your actions are all about?
P.S. H has to give you more time. Tell him I said so. What else can H do for you that you think would help?
