Thanks for responding. I've been on 3 different antidepressents, all of which caused me so many side effects, that I had to get off of them.
I just got off the telephone with my H and told him that I was filing for a legal separation. I cannot stand being with him and this is not healthy for either of us. I've given up. I'm sorry that I've disappointed everyone who has tried to help me through this, but I cannot find any peace with him. I've tried to do the "stop" sign technique, I've prayed, I'm in Christian MC and none of it is helping me. I feel like I've done everything but I can't get over this betrayal so it's over for me! I cannot continue to live this way. I'm crying right now so forgive me, but I have to leave this marriage because IMHO it's beyond repair. Not that I don't think God can heal and restore, but I don't think this is where he wants me right now. I believe He has much more in store for me. There are so many issues that I've not been able to get into on this message board because it is so long, but to try and cut to the chase, my H used church as his tool for his affair. He mocked everything that I hold dear with God. He actually felt that he had something to do with the huzzy's salvation. She got baptized in our church and I asked my husband then if he was still talking to her and he said NO. Right there in God's house. I'm so hurt and I have to get away from him. I just pray that God will grant me the peace that I so desire.
