Hey Gwyne, my advice is keeping talking with NYS he is a very wise man and has been through the ups & downs himself, he seems have an ability to read through what you right as in reading between the lines and get to what you are really thinking I am sure you will find him a great sounding board and he will make you look at yourself and the R. Keep going NYS this is someone i think that will benefit greatly from you.
On my side can you try and imagine your life without your H, if so how does that make you feel. If you can't imagine having nothing to do with him then you need to work out how to get past this. The sitting down and being honest for an hour a week is a great place to start. I am sure if you start showing H that you are trying to work through this he will be a willing partner from what you have said.
Good luck it's never easy.......KDU


"FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT!!"(quote:Anna)