Normal I'm sure, but H is putting so much pressure on me to make a decision and I just can't.
Normal it is, it's part of the rollercoaster ride. But the fact that you can't make a decision shows that you don't really want out.
H doesn't want to make a decision either, which is why he wants you to make it for him. Don't. He has to make his own decision.
You have to change the dynamics between you two. I get the sense that you bring up things stating them in a way that puts him on the defensive. Change the way you two talk about these things. Try to se his viewpoint. It doesn't mean you condone his viewpoint nor agree with it, just walk in his shoes along with him, and he must do the same with you. Understanding each other is important to successful communication.
I'm not sure all "this hard work" is worth it.
That sense may be coming from your feelings, see if it is. Feelings change, which is why I advise not acting on them. Hard work, yes, but it may be very worthwhile and create a stronger bond and happier relationship. If you both do the work and nothing comes of it, at least you know you did try. And in your next relationship, if this one doesn't work out, the things you'll learn will serve you well.
