By stopping the negative thoughts that lead to those feelings, and replacing them with positive thoughts and actions. Dwelling in the past has the past dwelling in you.
Feelings follow thoughts. If you dwell on the events of the past, as they are associated with hurt and pain, you'll dredge up those feelings of hurt and pain. Because those feelings are painful, you get angry, you cry, you vent. Let the past go.
Focus on the now. Now is the only reality you have. The past is done and can't be changed, the future is unknown and yet to be written. You have positives happening now: H wants to work on the relationship, the A is over and done with. You have good prospects now. Things have changed from before. What are the loveable things about him you can focus on? This is a day by day process. Think on those positive things. They bring positive feelings.
Perhaps you need more reassurance from H. What are things he can say and do that would make you feel more reassured? What are the things he can do to make you feel loved?
Read the After The Affair book I suggested, it has some exercises in it that may help. A MC can help. Reach out and grab a hold of that kind of professional help, it's worth it. Ultimately, it's the work and effort you two put into rebuilding that counts. The more you practice these things, the more positive periods you will have, the longer each positive period will last, until you are usually always feeling positive, instead of the other way around.
