Hi Gwyn, Trust is an interesting phenomenon. It appears that once it has been broken, it is difficult to rebuild. Difficult but not impossible. In a three year marriage, a 17 month affair is a pretty serious breach of trust, no question about that. How long did you date before you were married? How much do you know about H's past relationships? In general, would you say he's a "trustworthy" guy in other areas of his life and in past relationships?
Lately, I've been trying to think about trust in these terms: When you meet someone new you have to invest a certain amount of trust in them in order to establish the relationship. They haven't done anything to earn that trust, but you give it in hopes that the R will become something really great. Can you get back to that point in your M where you'd extend trust not because your H deserves it, but because you want to give it in hopes of someday having a great M.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
