I AM MOVING ON FROM H & OW

[kaydeekay]

KDU-

I agree with SH. It sounds as though H is still on the fence and really not wanting to give up OW just yet. Don't make the mistake I made and allow H back home (because I did) he will only be depressed for OW and start getting confused. This is what happended to my H and he was soooo confused and depressed over OW that he announced that he wanted a D and then filed papers shortly after. Even after he told me it was over between them he still yearned for her I don't think my H was in a clear state of mind when he made the decision, but I'll never know for sure. My advice would be forget the timeline you have on H to return home and start building a life for yourself in the event things don't turn out like you want them to. I know this is very hard to move on with your life without him when he's practically setting in the wings making up his mind on your M. I think if I had continued my detachment that I started back in March, maybe things would have turned out different for me. But once H told me he wanted to work on our marriage, all my DB'ing went out the window and I was back to pressuring him..."When are you going to come back home, blah, blah, blah."

I'm finally at a point in my life where I can accept the fact that maybe H and I will never get back together and I know I can move on without H. It hurts like hell but there is nothing I can do to make H come back to me. I do miss and love him very much, but I feel I got some of my self-respect back after letting him walk over me these past six months. I was an indpendent person to a certain degree when I was with H, but now I feel it more than I ever have.

Sorry for the rambling. I know you can get through this, you are a very strong woman!!!