You are getting some sound advice here. Don't backslide into the typical patterns that occur pre-DB. Be strong, strong, strong. Remember, you have no control over what he does...so trying to force him to do it your way won't work. You have great control over how you handle it...don't be reactionary, or demanding, or any of that... Be the DB angel we know you are...even if your blood is boiling inside. It is the lies that cause most harm. And even after all this...we somehow have this hope that the lies will stop. Your H is still on the fence, so DB with that perspective. Baby steps...that he is vocalizing to you he doesn't want to let you go yet...but he is not ready to give up OW at this point, sucks to hear, doesn't it? You and I are in very similar sitchs. re: that. My H says he is not dating anyone, but I don't buy it. My H is on the fence as well. This is where incredible amount of patience, of detachment, of living your life for YOU right now are what you must do. With every interaction with your H, keep it positive, stop initiating R talks, etc. etc. I know that with your mother's offer, you see that the time to rebuild your M is now. But your H's timeline may be different. If you feel you can't be strong enough to keep going like this, or are just fed up, (where I have been for awhile), then this is an opportune time for you to really start building your life and focusing your life on you...preparing it to live without H, just not worrying about him, thinking maybe he'll come around before I quit, maybe he won't. But meanwhile I am going to live a life I deserve! Considering you've made it very clear what you want...and maybe have presented a little bit of chasing behavior...I think you ought to consider going dark for a bit...and really focus on you. And any interaction...he may expect you to pressure, want answers, etc. etc., so don't do what he expects...be happy, be living life large, as if he is not the primary concern.
