Yipppeee!!! I am so happy for you A couple of weeks ago you took one big, bold step to R with H and now it has paid off big time. Continue doing what you are doing, it seems to work. I agree with H, be yourself but don't forget to DBing also.
Happy, happy birthday Kim....(((((hugs))))
M:43 H:37 D14 (ours) D18 (mine) S22 (mine) S18 (his) S: 10/2004 Bomb: 2/15/05 In/out of home Living with OW #4 Talks of D for 2-1/2 years
That is so awesome Kim, I'm happy for you. I think others have made it pretty clear that there is much work yet to be done. Have you kept a journal throughout all of this? I would go back through it, really look over what you've written. Think about the things you want H to know about the way this has affected you. Think about the things you need him to tell you about the A. Think about the things you need from him going foward and the things you *think* he'll want from you. Make sure you're on the same page about his needs. All of this will be a slow process of course, but I can see where it would be frightening to bring up any of the "bad stuff" for fear that things will take a downward turn. My advice is not to give in to those fears. Face them head on. But face them slowly. Really investigate your journal and your thoughts and the person you've become. Lay out a road map for yourself to expose that new Kim to your H. Make new goals for youself, and that will help you keep on track and focused.
Good job Kim!!
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
Oh Kim, what can I say that is fantastic news and the best birthday present! I wouldn't be able to wipe the smile off my face. You go girl. Keep up the good work
Ooops Kim..Forgot to wish you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY. It is a lovely birthday present, isn't it? My birthday's coming up in a little more than a month's time. Keep my fingers crossed that I will get a LOVELY PRESENT From H too...
Thankyou very much everyone for your lovely thoughts. Update.... H did ring me later on the night of my birthday, which was nice. He came over the next night (Friday) and we had a chat, gave him a massage and then went to pub for a few drinks b4 he went to work.(Softdrinks) All of which was nice. Saturday I went over to his van he slept most of the time and I tidied it up for him. I left about 2 in the afternoon and went home as I was going out that night. Things were not overly flowing as well as I had hoped anyway H came over Sunday afternoon and we ended up in a fairly deep discussion. We both got to say alot and we have decided that he should take a month to be completely on his own as all he has done is jump from me to OW and back and forth and not committed 100% to anyone and now should take a couple of weeks to be totally alone and make sure that coming home is the right thing and so he can give it 100% with no doubts or regrets. This decision I think is for the best and a big risk on my behalf but what will be will be and I really think he needs to be without OW for a bit on his own b4 we can work, he needs to grieve their R or be happy it's over or he is never going to give us 100% and may have regrets and I don't want to be back to this, I want our R to work properly when we give it another go. I realise this could work against me but it truly must be done. Hopefully in a few weeks he will say he can't live without me but if not I would rather know now rather than later in a few months when I have got attached again. So there is a bit of a shock for you all but it really is for the best I think and I hope. OW must get out of their systems and as he broke it off with her and swears he will have no contact I have to believe it and wait and see.......KDU
A couple of weeks ago you took one big, bold step to R with H and now it has paid off big time. Continue doing what you are doing, it seems to work. I agree with H, be yourself but don't forget to DBing also. 