O.K. guys thankyou all for your honesty and comments I really appreciate them. Now let me see if I can explain what and why H said he needed to make it friends only with OW. My H works at a Hospital and OW works in the kitchen. H is a Senior Orderley and when "In Charge" is in charge of the other Orderley's, the Cleaner's and Kitchen girls, therefore he has to work with all of these people and has been friends with alot of them for 11yrs. Now alot of these people are OW's friends as well even one or two are her best friends. So H says it would be very difficult working with them if he and OW weren't civil. That is why he wants the "Friends" thing with her. Now this doesn't sit all that well with me as him and OW being work friends is how this whole thing turned into more and caused my problems in the first place. My question is this, do I apply pressure now about him and her being friends, and ask does he still expect to see her as a friend outside of work, or do I just wait and see what happens for the moment and tackle it when he comes home. I don't want to put pressure on him as I am seeing some real positives and can see him coming back to me and don't want to do anything that will make him run back the other way. I just don't know which way is the best way to handle it but I know it will need to be discussed at some point before we can move on at working on our M, so I am open to advice, or opinions on the best way to handle this. Now H is working for my company today as he used to do work here one or two days a week for extra $ when we were married on his days off and has not been doing this since we split as it would have been too hard on me. My boss approached me about him working here to help us out as we need it and I said I had no problem with it. So H turned up today, walked in said hi planted a big kiss on my lips and asked how I was, to which I said yeah fine and you and he said not too bad then gave me another big cuddle and kiss and then we went off to make coffee (Nobody else was in yet). Once we made coffee he walked past me and kissed me again and I said god I have missed you and he said I am missing you too now and I said, that's nice to hear. He said I know and I said it's O.K. I can handle it, it's just hard waiting for you, imagine if you were in my position and he said yeah I know, it would be hard, I am trying I just haven't had the opening I need yet, but then again I haven't seen her that much as I have been on night shift. I said yeah I understand, don't worry I will have patience, it's just that its so close and I can't ring you or see you so it's difficult but I will be fine if it means we can sort our M out I will have patience. He said I know it's hard for you and I will do my best to get it done and it will be good when we can be together again and with that gave me a big kiss and a playful smack on the butt and said come on give me my work, I better get going...He has to work on the road.....So there you have our latest interaction....It is very hard but I don't know what else I am meant to do at the moment other than being understanding, patient, happy and kind everytime I see him. I am not pursuing as I don't ring him or message him, I am leaving all contact to him and I try not to bring up OW and only speak about her if he brings her up and even then only if I have to.....Opinions please as what you all wrote b4 is true, i just need a bit more guidance on which tact to take. I know this could all blow up in my face, which I hope it doesn't but it is in my head as there is a 3rd person involved and who knows what impact she will have......Advice please....KDU DMF I might look into getting a copy of that book this weekend, I think I need it.... Love to all of you, you keep me levelled.....
