"Going Dark" - 101

[Jamesjohn]

let me c if i can make sense from my perspective:

rearly -

"if i stay dark then, based on my past performance(pre DB), i am not changing... my SO will continue 2 slip away, whether i stay at home or not.
if i take charge (of myself) and stay in the house; this can b seen as pursuit, manipulative or, 2 little 2 late. however this is also likely 2, with adjustments, have the greatest benefit in the long term 4 ME if i stay constant so the changed me becomes the REAL me"

By George, you've got it! By George, I think you've got it!

One of your key phrases there was "taking charge of yourself". From what you said earlier, it sounds like YOU moving would be a pretty big hardship for you at this time. So, let her move if she wants out.

Take a look at what aplamado wrote about how he's doing it. Looks like some pretty good stuff there.

"Actions speak louder than words".

Will check out your thread here in a bit.

"sorry if i seem thick, mispent youth, lost brain cells, etc"

I thought that I recognized you from those parties!