KDK - I don't know why they prefer to believe OW or doubt our word so much but the fact is they do and we cannot do anything about it so don't bother trying eventually they see the truth. Glj - Thanks for your kind words they help alot and I am glad you are thinking on the positive side of my sitch, it encourages me and you will see why in a minute when I update. YoYo - Waffle away my dear it is fine and I agree with all that you said and yes we will hold hands throughout this journey it can only get better or I think it will wait for my update you will know what I mean. DMF - What is the go with you, have I offended you??? You are not talking to me, I know you are looking in but no words of advice or caution, I loved our chats and valued your input so please explain my dear?????? BB - Thanks for those links I get it now and love the term that is exactly what she is, I am sure it is what my H may have thought I was but oh well(lol) UPDATE....... O.K. guys hopefully I want go on and on, I will try and just cover the facts....... H came to get S on Friday night and we had a coffee and a bit of a chat about his work and nothing of great significance but he was in no hurry to leave. So we were watching the news whilst both sitting on the couch and H lent against me and I did my old normal thing of rubbing his back and rubbing his chest when he leans against me. H then wanted me to massage his legs and took me to my bedroom I gave him a full massage and deliberatley kept away from his middle region....Anyhow I thought H had gone to sleep so I went out and put a DVD on for S and walked in bedroom to get the oil and towel to put away and H asked me to lock the door.....Well don't have to tell much more I will leave it to your imaginations When we came out H said he better get going as OW would probably have rung him by now and he was very late (hehehe too bad). So H and S left, I went and had a shower and then my girlfriend came over and we polished off 2 bottles of red wine and had a fabulous time as it was a real girlie night, which I think I needed. Saturday H dropped home S and another girlfriend was over with her 3 month old baby so H spoke to her for a bit but then go going so I walked him out to his car. He gave me a big hug and a kiss and I said to him how are you going with your decision, still not sleeping (He had told me it was all he could think about and wasn't sleeping b/c of it) H said it is still playing on my mind but it's a bit better and i said O.K. I will wait till you make up your mind there is no pressure and he said....Look Kim, as soon as she gives me an opening to make it just friends with her I will do it, but it may take a little time....I looked at him with a smile and said Have I just heard you correctly, I don't want to misunderstand what you just said, and he said what do you think I said, and I said I think you just said that when you can make it just friends with her you will and then you will be coming home, and he said "that's right" well I just wrapped my arms around him and said "Thankyou that is all I have wanted to hear for 6 months, you have made me a happy woman" He was smiling and said "Yes but have some patience and it will happen" I said "Yep fine at least I have my answer"...... Well you can imagine I was on cloud nine..... Sunday I met H at S's football match and when I got there H was already there and god he looked appealing as I walked up to him (he had his back to me but his bum looked very cute ) Anyhow we kissed hello and he said "You seem happy" and I said "That's b/c I am, I am the happiest I have been in 6 months" H said "I know" and smiled. So we were watching S's game and I said "Oh bloody hell that means I will have to find you some wardrobe room over the next few weeks" H said "You just do what you have to and don't worry about it" I didn't really get this comment but I let it slide...anyhow when H was leaving to go home he gave me a hug and a kiss and I said "I know you need time but don't take too long as the next few weeks are going to be the longest of my life" H said "I know but I told you I need some time so just give me that and it will be fine" I said "I know I am just don't take too long and make some time for us when you can". H said "I will and I'll try not to take too long, I wont drag it out" Anyway we said our goodbyes and that was that......So hopefully this means H will be coming home BUT I know better than to pysche myself up too much as OW may have other ideas and I know how much they can confuse our H's so one day at a time. I will not mention OW to H now for a week or more and when I do it will just be "How's things, obviously you haven't had your opening yet" and then see......O.K. bring it on keep me on track I know I have to take things slow and have alot of patience and give him the time he needs and I will it's just hard as my head says if he wants to come home he would just tell her and come home but life doesn't seem to follow normal expectations with people who have wandered from their spouse it is a whole different set of rules and i didn't want to play this dumb game in the first place but now that I am I have to follow the unwritten rules. Its just hard as we are the ones that sacrifice so much but I must admit I would rather have my H in my life than out of it, oh and I did say to H yesterday that it was the break I think we needed to have to make our R stronger and to make us both realise how important it was and H agreed with me. So I need to focus on the positives, have patience and take each day as it comes so that is what I will do as I can reap the rewards later on down the track when my M is sorted. O.K. tell me your thoughts and concerns and BB tell me what the male here thinks about what he has said can you see anything going on that I can't????? Thanks guys KDU
I gave him a full massage and deliberatley kept away from his middle region....Anyhow I thought H had gone to sleep so I went out and put a DVD on for S and walked in bedroom to get the oil and towel to put away and H asked me to lock the door.....Well don't have to tell much more I will leave it to your imaginations 
When we came out H said he better get going as OW would probably have rung him by now and he was very late (hehehe too bad). So H and S left, I went and had a shower and then my girlfriend came over and we polished off 2 bottles of red wine and had a fabulous time as it was a real girlie night, which I think I needed.
) Anyhow we kissed hello and he said "You seem happy" and I said "That's b/c I am, I am the happiest I have been in 6 months" H said "I know" and smiled. So we were watching S's game and I said "Oh bloody hell that means I will have to find you some wardrobe room over the next few weeks" H said "You just do what you have to and don't worry about it" I didn't really get this comment but I let it slide...anyhow when H was leaving to go home he gave me a hug and a kiss and I said "I know you need time but don't take too long as the next few weeks are going to be the longest of my life" H said "I know but I told you I need some time so just give me that and it will be fine" I said "I know I am just don't take too long and make some time for us when you can". H said "I will and I'll try not to take too long, I wont drag it out" Anyway we said our goodbyes and that was that......So hopefully this means H will be coming home BUT I know better than to pysche myself up too much as OW may have other ideas and I know how much they can confuse our H's so one day at a time. I will not mention OW to H now for a week or more and when I do it will just be "How's things, obviously you haven't had your opening yet" and then see......O.K. bring it on keep me on track I know I have to take things slow and have alot of patience and give him the time he needs and I will it's just hard as my head says if he wants to come home he would just tell her and come home but life doesn't seem to follow normal expectations with people who have wandered from their spouse it is a whole different set of rules and i didn't want to play this dumb game in the first place but now that I am I have to follow the unwritten rules. Its just hard as we are the ones that sacrifice so much but I must admit I would rather have my H in my life than out of it, oh and I did say to H yesterday that it was the break I think we needed to have to make our R stronger and to make us both realise how important it was and H agreed with me. So I need to focus on the positives, have patience and take each day as it comes so that is what I will do as I can reap the rewards later on down the track when my M is sorted.
