Glad to see you're still hanging in there KDU! Having H initiate these positive convos is certainly a good thing. Of course, we don't know how good. And you certainly did right by being playful without going further. He knows you're not shutting him out, but that you want him to have space.
Maybe you do this already, but if not, really work at finding something fun to do pretty soon that he doesn't know about. Then when he calls again, whenever that may be, you'll have something easy to talk about that shows you're not just sitting by the phone pining away for him. And how much fun you can be if he makes the right choice .
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
I agree with Burgbud....some good info given there. You have given H a big thing on his plate(no pun intended) Now we are all here to help you wait through this waiting game. Stay positive and focused...you are doing great! Keep that playful atmosphere when speaking to him and keep a little distance at the same time.
I think you're doing a great job so far. It sounds as though H is really thinking this through. Just keep up what you are doing.
As for feeling you're not there for your kids, I know how you feel. I'm going to set up some mini-goals for myself to spend more time with the kids. Ever since the separation from my H I feel like I've been putting all of my energy and thinking in trying to get my H back. Now I want to spend more time with my kids and let them see how happy I can be with "dad."
Be strong, I'm sure the next few weeks will be one hell of roller coaster ride.
M:43 H:37 D14 (ours) D18 (mine) S22 (mine) S18 (his) S: 10/2004 Bomb: 2/15/05 In/out of home Living with OW #4 Talks of D for 2-1/2 years
Good job on keeping your convo light hearted. I also think it's a good sign that h called you....means he wasn't scared away?
I'll have to agree with some of the tips/advice you got...such as go do something fun for yourself in the meantime which also has the added bonus of something else you could talk about with your H if he calls again, and yes...so he doesn't think you're just sitting by the phone waiting for his answer.
Hellkat say what you really think. I know I have shocked you a bit but I hear an undertone, I can take it what do you really think about it...KDU
KDU - I'm not shocked at all - trust me if someone would have offered to do the same for me I would have jumped all over the chance!!!!
Belive me I exhausted every ave and route I possibly could to save my M, and if it meant standing naked in my front yard in on a full moon and chanting with a live chicken, I would have done it lol!!!!!!
And I shocked and disappointed many of my friends and family by giving him so many chances.....but you know what????? I'll never have to second guess myself by asking 'what if'.
Trust me, I know where you are coming from and I'm rooting for you chick!
Kim Now I am no expert, but it sounds like it is all going well so far. Yep, I can see how you are so stuffed after a day working, taking care of the kids! What you need is a wife to do all that stuff so you can have some time to take care of yourself. Make sure you are taking some time out each day to do something small for you. Buy yourself some flowers, and take your vitamins. (sorry, sounding like my mum now ). So tell me hellkat, about this naked thing with the chicken. Now that would really give my neighbours something to talk about. Gives a whole new meaning to GAL
Thankyou so much guys you really are helping through this waiting game. Yes I will try and plan to do something this week although it could be a bit hard but next week I will have something to say as it is my birthday so I will have lots to do next week. Hellkat naked and chickens Mmmmmm I wonder if I should do that (LOL) did that make me laugh....Honestly guys I really appreciate your support as by coming to these boards it calms me down as I am sure you all know I am very anxious about his decision and I constantly want to contact him but I wont...You see he normally rings me every day and if he doesn't I notice it...By not speaking and seeing him as much I am giving him easy time with OW and this could go against me as she may seem great in his eyes without me in the picture. Oh well it will be what it will be I guess. Hey just a thought b/c of his playfulness yesterday or rather I heard a suggestive tone what do I do if he wants to ML On the one hand I could say Look I don't think that's a good idea while your coming to a decision. BUT then again I know Michelle says that sometimes that is all you have and it can be the saviour as when your ML your emotions come forward and it can help you remember your feelings for each other its a real catch 22....Opinions on this would be good from both sides......I hope I haven't pushed him to OW by my proposition as could I have pushed him to make a decision he is not ready to make yet could he have needed more time to see it's not going to work with OW aaaargh here I go doubting myself again. BB, NYS, DMF how about a male opinion if you can put yourself into WAS's shoes...have I pushed him......Girls I want your opinions too so fire away it will at least keep my mind busy and thankyou so much for looking in on me.....KDU
((((((Kim)))))) Just wanna give you the support and lending ear while you wait for H's decision. I know it is so hard. I guessed there's nothing we can to hurry them up. We just have to continue with our lives and be happy, and hopefully they'll come round to their senses. Hang in there, Sista!
Thanks Yoyo....I am thinking about him alot today and in my own head I have thought of many reasons to send him a text or to ring him not about his decision but any other little reason but I have refrained. I will see him on Friday night when he picks up S so I have to stay strong until then. I am sure he will ring tomorrow to check on those arrangements or at worse he will ring Friday to check its still O.K. I am so worried that I may have pushed him to make a decision he is not ready to make, really he has to decide to get rid of OW and if he is not ready to do that well I have to move on without him and hope he comes to his senses b4 I have decided to not give him a 2nd chance. If H says it is too soon for him to decide then I guess I will have to say to him well at least you know what I am prepared to do should you change your mind and in the meantime I guess we have to just get on with our lives and the future will bring whatever it brings......I would then make sure we didn't ML anymore....See I can see what I have to do I am now just having 2nd thoughts on what I have done but I think it had to be done in order for me to GAL properly. O.K. self analyzing over until the next time....KDU out....
I say use him for sex as long as you feel good afterwards....this might sound weird but gets your while you can and then when it done act as if it was just sex. J/K I would love for them to know how they make us feel sometimes. I think that if he is using you or not...if it helps you feel closer then do it....ML till you drop!
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Now we are all here to help you wait through this waiting game. Stay positive and focused...you are doing great! Keep that playful atmosphere when speaking to him and keep a little distance at the same time. 
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On the one hand I could say Look I don't think that's a good idea while your coming to a decision. BUT then again I know Michelle says that sometimes that is all you have and it can be the saviour as when your ML your emotions come forward and it can help you remember your feelings for each other its a real catch 22....Opinions on this would be good from both sides......I hope I haven't pushed him to OW by my proposition as could I have pushed him to make a decision he is not ready to make yet could he have needed more time to see it's not going to work with OW aaaargh here I go doubting myself again. BB, NYS, DMF how about a male opinion if you can put yourself into WAS's shoes...have I pushed him......Girls I want your opinions too so fire away it will at least keep my mind busy and thankyou so much for looking in on me.....KDU