Thanks BQT1 you are sweet...but you take care of you at the moment you have alot on your plate and I want to see you strong again, you can do this....... NOW FOR AN UPDATE AND TO VENT AS MY HEAD IS SWIMMING..... Last night H rang and asked me to go over and yes I did... Anyhow we ended up ML and it was good and I acted upbeat and happy the whole time and didn't initiate any R talks.....H did though.... H: I don't want to give you false hope with all this (Like that hasn't been said b4) but I do want to see where this takes us as I don't know if we are finished yet or not and I am hoping this will help to find out. M: I said yes I know I would like to see where we end up but i guess only time will tell. H: Said yeah I guess, I am still feeling comfortable with OW (aaaaargh) but I don't know where my head is at the moment (up his ar$e) M: Mmmmmm well only you can work that out and I want you to come to your own conclusions with pressure from nobody.. H then proceeded to make coffee and change the subject. So what does anyone read into that........Male opinions would be good too if they can put themselves into that position and then decifer what he really means I would love to know......Anyhow I have taken it as he has spoken it and we will just see. I will make sure next time I am not available as the memories I left him with will make him come running again soon ...Well I have been with him for 12yrs and can still surprise him which is good but it may also make him want more especially if I deny him a bit too.....I just have to keep my own head straight as this is a dangerous road but I have nothing else left. Obviously the writing must be on the wall for OW or if he was truly happy with her he wouldn't be with anyone else and wouldn't go behind her back. This makes my H look like he is a serial cheater but apparently he isn't...from what I know he hasn't cheated b4 not that I'd know how he would have found the time, this one only happened because she worked with him so that made it easier to spend shag time together but not much else.....Get this H let it slip as I said something about him staying the night away from his van and he said he never does that as he isn't allowed to stay at her place (she lives in a bungalow behind her parents house with her 21 y.o. son and she is 50) I had to ask why and he said because her father will not allow her or her son to overnight guests. Can you believe that at 50 she doesn't even stand up to her dad.....Sounds like she is weak but trust me she is not, no wonder she stands up to my H and dictates to him all because her father does to her. Anyhow that is just a funny byproduct of the whole saga that I thought I would share....Anyhow I would love to hear peoples thoughts as I don't know if I am being used for se# or to trust what he says ??????????KDU
and it was good 
and I acted upbeat and happy the whole time and didn't initiate any R talks.....H did though....
