Yeah I know what you are saying. I have just reached a point where if I don't take this seriously he won't take us seriously. It's all well and good going 2 steps forward but taking 5 steps backward is going to become too much for H as all he will see is me changing and feeling good about it and then noticing it was all an act and then possibly resenting me more for it. So I need to be 100% focused and no backsliding. I am going to waffle on and on on my thread until I have go it right as then I am not waffling on to H. This time I have to make it work if there is any chance of him leaving OW so he needs to see I am the better choice and now that she is putting so many restrictions on him and checking up on him all the time that will make my job easier. I want to make these changes to make me a more pleasant person to be around for everyone and to try and start a whole new R with my H. I feel I can only become a better person from it whatever the outcome. Funny how it takes some of us a while to actually work this stuff out....
