I AM MOVING ON FROM H & OW

[Burgbud]

So, according to Dr. Harris, the loving takeaway is not done if one has not been building many positive moments, has not GAL, has not detached, or has been backsliding. It wouldn't be effective.

This I agree with.

It's really the same thing as going somewhat dark.

This, not so much.

To me, going dark is something you do but the loving takeaway is something you offer to do. You try the LT when things have been generally positive but stagnant. It needs to be explicitly stated so the other person has a chance to consider the consequences of actually losing you, whether for a day, a weekend, a month or forever. But you want them to consider whether or not they want to lose you, not whether or not they want you back.

But that's just my opinion; I could be wrong. Cue Dennis Miller.