I AM MOVING ON FROM H & OW

[Burgbud]

Maybe he's bitter and his advice is a bit tainted...

Indeed. When he said can i live my life everyday wondering if H is happy enough everyday with us and our marriage to not look for OW again , my thought was, if you're wondering every day if H is happy enough to not look for OW again, maybe the problem is with *you*. Nobody who's thinking like that should just let their spouse back. The spouse has to earn their way back, at least a little bit, so both partners are happy with the R. Otherwise, keep working on the R at arm's length, and see if it can get back to a healthy, wonderful place.

I don't think anybody here is planning on reuniting with their spouse if we have to worry about their fidelity every day, are we?