He asked me a few questions and one that has really stuck is: can i live my life everyday wondering if H is happy enough everyday with us and our marriage to not look for OW again. He said what if you have a disagreement and he leaves mad or upset will I worry all day long if that will make him stray???!!!
Maybe he's bitter and his advice is a bit tainted...
because I tend to think: let's say you reconcile. Start rebuilding trust, things are going well, when you hit a snag, you're there for each other, applying new methods of working things out, it's working well. In other words, things have changed, it's not like it is now.
So one day you have a spat. Do you really think that your partner will leap back to the OW over that at that point, or would you have more confidence that you two are better equipped to overcome whatever caused that argument and are more dedicated to doing that then going back to the way things were, and will work it out?
On the other hand, if in that day your relationship is still so shaky that one argument sends your partner into someone else's arms, then you have the option of ending it.
