You seem to be doing a great job of holding an excellent mindset so congratulations! You probably already know this, but a situation where you're giving H plenty of space and no pressure while Ow is starting to put the screws to him is almost ideal. Well, "ideal" isn't the right word for any of our sitches around here, but you know what I mean.
Depending on how things go, you may be in a position to do what a book I was reading calls the "loving takeaway". A takeaway is what advertisers do when they have a sale THIS WEEKEND ONLY!!!, or offer you something extra if you CALL IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES!!! The idea to get someone to do what they're already thinking about doing because they don't want to miss out.
In our sitches it would work various ways. One would be to say, "I'd like to get together with you this weekend and take the kids to a movie, but my friends are planning a party and I need to tell them tomorrow whether I'm going or not." Or, "Do you want to go out this weekend? I feel like I'm ready to start dating again. (implying you might start dating other people)" Or even, "If you're confused about your feelings, would spending less time around me help sort them out?" The last one seems backwards, but you're still offering a takeaway. The most important thing about any of these is that you really mean what you say; if you put a takeaway out there and they take you up on it, you'll lose all credibility if you back down.
At any rate, the takeway isn't something you want to rush into, but when the time is right it's a great motivator in a case like yours where the Ow is pushing way harder than you are.
Good luck!
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
