First of all, going dark is often seen as a "black or white" thing, which it really shouldn't be. There are various shades of gray in life, and I believe we should look at this "technique" in this way.
In one sense, going dark is an "LRT", if you've been prone to persue, plead, beg, cry - anything - to try to win back the departing spouse. Also, in effect, the LRT is a form of a 180 if we've been doing these things out of our desperation.
If you have been someone who has been "dark" throughout most of your relationship, this could be defined as "more of the same" behavior, and possibly "more of what doesn't work".
Going dark could also fall into the "do nothing" category. If you were the type of person that always had to be involved in everything, either fixing, directing, or controlling the situation, then staying out of direct contact with your partner can help you to do a "180" on this situation. You are essentially "dropping the rope" to let others handle the situation without your interference.
Going dark can take you out of the chaos long enough to "take stock" of where you are versus where you were, and compared to where you want to go.
Going dark can be a form of "stop going down cheeseless tunnels". If you persist on running through the maze blindly, you may need to take yourself out of the picture until you can "sniff out" the tunnel you need to head down. (Humm, do I want the cheddar or the swiss?!)
Going dark can help you to "start with a beginner's mind". If you can take a step back back, far away from being in the middle of the situation, you can often begin to see things with a fresh eye, a "beginner's mind", and get a clearer view of where you need to head. We've seen this by the way others on this board can often view our situations with a clearer mind then we can.
Going dark is a way you can "make yourself happy for a change" if you've been sooooo wrapped up in saving your relationship that you've forgotten how to really live.
As you can see, I'm VERY opinionated about the whole going dark subject. I firmly believe that it is NOT a technique in itself, but a way to discover,implement, and utilize other techniques.
If a person were to use "going dark" in the spirit of solely "no contact", they would be wasting their time, and setting themselves up for great disappointment.
Remember, learn, live, and love the basics. If you DO go dark, and it IS working for you, take a closer look at the reasons why it works. Then, adjust your future plans from there.
JJ
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