Sorry you are here. You are still in the early stages of this twilight zone. I wish it will be easy for you and that your H will turn back in a very short time. But it is wise to prepare for a long struggle. It may take months, in some cases years. Every sitch is different.
I hope you find strength and quietness somewhere, sometime soon. Dont expect too much from yourself at this time. It is confusing and your world is in upheaval. But with time there will be clarity, both regarding your H and regarding yourself. And then you will feel better.
When people said this to me on these bbs earlier I thought they were feeding me empty cliches. But this is the truth. You will see. This is a time when you will have to reach in and see yourself for who you truly are and what you truly believe and want. And that is difficult. Sometimes it helps to think of this as a gift from your WAS (walk-away-spouse) than as a burden. When you find that center within you, there will be some clarity, if not peace. But it is a difficult inward journey, as all inward journeys are.
Hang in there and I wish you well.
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
