Newcomer needs direction please help!

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Thank you all, I am so glad to have support, I really need it. I started on Zoloft but I am told it will take time to be effective. I have been living on 3-5 hrs of sleep a night. My heart does nothing but race. I cannot eat - lost 17 lbs so far. I do not feel like my H is the enemy, but sometimes he seems to act as if I am, or that I just have leprocy. Yesterday we had to take our 5 yr old daughter to a specialist. I thanked him for being there. He said of course he would be. However, he did not spend the night which I expected to be hard, but wasn't, nor was he there to comfort her in the morning. He did call and I told him I especially missed him this morning dealing with her he couldn't seem to understand why. I just feel so alone. Everyone keeps saying be strong for yourself and the kids and keep busy. I read DR. Waiting for 2 other of her books now. I just feel so desperate, I am doing my best not to ask where he is on nights I don't see him and not to call him, let him call me. But it is killing me on day 22. I thought this would get easier, but I feel worse with each passing day. I can barely function at work. If it wasn't for the kids I would have myself put away. But if I am seen as "unfit" and lose them I will definetely lose it. I start a support group tomorrow, Flying Solo. I hope it helps. I am on a waiting list for a psych, 12-14 weeks. Can't afford it but will find a way I guess. Why is life so hard????