Newcomer needs direction please help!

[HSSweetheart]

Today is separation day 21 for me. Yesterday somehow the subject of sex came up. My H says no, I say it is ok. He said that you do not have to wait until divorce to have sex with another. I told him that we were still married and I would do no such thing and I would hope that he would not. Didn't get a direct answer, just said something like who would want me. Then I said we weren't legally separation or anything anyway and he quickly corrected me that as soon as someone moves their stuff out it is official. He had a funny look-I know he's talked to someone which really surprised me. I only got 3 hrs sleep last night and my heart won't stop racing. Do I tell him this is bothering me? You will probably all say no but how can I go on like this? He originally said he needed "weeks to months" to sort out his head, he was numb. Now it seems more serious. He also went to a bar on Fri (it was his day away from us) and when I casually asked about it (as I was looking for a place to take him for his b-day), he told me I had to respect his privacy! I asked why something so ridiculous was private, if he asked me I would say where I was. These are the things he does that makes me feel like I am stalking him. He cuts off phone calls when I am near or talks in the driveway outside the house or in parking lots. I've been checking the numbers on his cell to see his actions and he found out. I e-mailed some friends to see what he has been saying to them and one ratted me out. Now instead of seeing our kids each night he wants to do separate nights with them. I thought I was moving forward now I feel backward. I started a depression med to help me along but it hasn't helped yet. HELP!! And this site is hard to figure out besides!