Hi

I don't know why but Jill's post was deleted. Here's what I replied:

Hi Jill

Just thought I'd clarify that during the M he didn't control - he was a bit overbearing with the kids but I was basically in charge of them and the money because he was rubbish at managing money. I also planned all the family holidays, Christmases etc and since I was physically ill 95% of our M, this curtailed his social life massively.

It didn't help that he refused to go to parties etc because I was too sick to go too and he said it would be mean of him to leave me at home.

This controlling stuff has happened since the split and more so since the court hearings (I think it gave him a power trip and he's so used to bullying now that it's second nature). I had hoped, hypothetically if we were together it would have been more fair, like in the M, but maybe not.

It's partly why I want him, because I think if he was a husband he would see me as an equal instead of treating me like this.

As for another R, I am not in love with anyone nor do I expect to be. I joined a dating agency once and even though I got replies etc, I didn't want to reply to them, so I ended up wasting the �60 it cost to join.

One guy I dated treated me worse than Andy, had a breakdown and ended up in hospital and then I had to put up with drunken phone calls and abusive behaviour, so I left him, and that was after 5 months of trying and genuinely thinking I cared for the man. I cried all evening that night and vowed I would never let another man make me cry again.

I had to get the police onto him because he was still phoning me every day (several times), and sending 35 texts a day, and that was 6 months after I ended the R. That obviously put me off men a lot.

My one night stands were awful - never ever want to have casual sex again, it was so degrading.

Then Christmas O3 I was followed back from a Christmas Eve party and molested by a guy who was a member of staff. Obviously that was awful too and since then I decided no more men ever unless it's Andy or it's just friendship.

I am okay with being single, I really am. I'd just prefer it if I could have all my family round me.

Jo.