I can only offer what seems to help me. Tons of things come up that really tick me off about OM1 and OM2. Somehow I have been able to say to myself, "I am winning this war", the bad thought or what ever makes me angry I discard it because its not important in the big picture.
I swallow my pride daily, sometimes hourly to get my family back together. Whether I am right or not doesn't matter anymore.
The C that I go to, prayer and the book I am reading are helping me immensely. Of course venting on this bb and help from fellow dbers are equally as important.
Jo, I urge you to let go of any past hurts. I know its easier said than done, but when I decided that what happened yesterday or last yr or twenty years ago could not be changed, I was able to keep my PMA even when XW or the kids say something that ticked me off.
I try to discard the negatives of the past and keep the good memories. My PMA has changed from almost non exsistant to feeling that I am a very blessed and lucky man.
If you can keep a PMA, keep GAL you will eventually win him back. These OW don't have a clue about DBing, they will eventually start to argue with him and lose. I am not saying be a doormat forever, but if it has anything to do with the past or its not condusive to getting him back let it go.
I think you are really a brave and courageous women to keep trying. It says alot about your values and dedication to your family.
