That sounds like a very classy yet sexy dress. Definitely! What most attractive women don't realize is that they look great in just about anything to the men in their lives.
Wear it and feel confident about his attraction to you, Jo. Feel, look, and move knowing that you are beautiful. Nice plan to keep it friendly and warm, but with boundaries for now. Patience always seems to be key in these longterm sitches, huh?
This man wants EX-OW1, OW2 and Wife 1 What is wrong with that? When one breaks down a guy can have an automatic back-up. Airplanes have 2 and 4 engines. Just teasing Jo.
He said he might watch 'Muriel's Wedding' - why the f**k does he want to watch a romantic comedy about a wedding? The guy was spouting off about how he hates M the other day!
Woke up at 9.17am - ugh! Found text message from Andy saying he'd be here at 10am. Grabbed breakfast, jumped in shower, showered Alicia and got dressed really fast in that silk dress I told you about, to avoid a reoccurance of shower incident last time.
Opened the door. X grinned at me. 'So, you haven't just got out of the shower today?'
I blushed and told him no. Then he looked at me and said 'You're wearing my socks.'
I suddenly realised he was right, they are his socks. I needed a green pair to go with the dress and they used to be his, only I'd forgotten.
I told him they went with my dress, and he said yes, they did. Then he looked at DD4 who was wearing lilac shorts and T shirt and he said
'I thought I was going to dress her this morning?'
(He dressed her last time as she'd just got out the shower). I said we'd already showered so she couldn't hang around with no clothes or she'd get cold. She then said to me
'You're late, daddy!'
(Actually, he wasn't late. He arrived at 10am and originally he was supposed to come in the afternoon).
He went and sat down on the sofa with DD4 on his knee and was just playing with her. Why he wanted to be in my living room, I'm not sure, but anyway I sat down next to him and me and DD4 told him about Sherwood Forest. Then I got him a hot chocolate, and as he was drinking that, he told me that EX-OW1 moved out last week with bf and her son.
I don't know why he would tell me this now. Apparently they've got a house just round the corner from him. Her DD (17 years? maybe 18) is still living with him, and her bf, but they will leave in a few weeks also.
Maybe that's why he's suddenly more interested? He's a bit lonely in that house without all those people.
I slipped up here for a moment with a snide remark about OW2, and said 'I suppose now you'll be inviting the next OW to live with you?'
He just said 'She's got her own house.'
Mmmm. Not sure what to make of that. I changed the subject because it was making me feel uncomfortable discussing her.
Kyle came round (4 yr old from next door) and I assumed he would say it's time to go now, but he told DD4 she could play with Kyle if she wanted. So they went off in the garden.
X asked about the IVF. I told him about the injections starting Thursday and asked if he'd have her Wednesday night because I'd probably have to go to the clinic early. He agreed.
He asked about my book and whether this friend of his who was raped, knows that I have written about it. I said no, she doesn't, but I've changed her name, there are no identifying details etc so she has no grounds to be worried.
He said her family doesn't know she was raped and they might read the book and find out. I said no way, there are no identifying details so they would never guess, that is assuming they even bought the book. I told him I only have to ask permissions if I am using actual names and details of actual towns and locations etc, which I haven't.
I felt a bit awkward by the conversation, almost as if he was attacking me and he could see how I felt, so he said
'Anyway, it doesn't really matter; I was just reminding you in case it bothers her and she makes an issue of it. I don't want any legal action to happen to you after you have printed this.'
I told him I've not used real names, I've not committed libel etc etc so that wouldn't happen. He said okay.
I was seriously freaked by the convo so I got up and found this magazine article about Finnish school's where the kids teach themselves and they have really great scores, some of the best. I saved the article for him because I thought it was a good home ed argument for his group.
So I gave him the article and we got talking about home ed vs. school again and he asked what sessions DD4 was doing at nursery in September, so I told him Monday's, Thursdays and Friday's.
He said 'I hope that's not all day.'
I said no, nursery is not all day, it's two and a half hours a session.
He said, 'Oh well, I suppose it won't hurt her to go to nursery for a year until I figure something out.'
I laughed at him and said
'What do you mean, you'll figure something out? You make that sound like a plan. What are you gonna do in a year then, when she finishes nursery?' (grin grin )
He smiled at me and said
'Well, home ed her.'
I said I wasn't bloody home eding unless he did it. He said he wanted to take her to all the groups and stuff he goes to with my other DD's as she'd enjoy it.
I said
'So would I. If you're taking her you'll bloody well take me too or she's going to school!' (grin grin ).
He stuck his tongue out at me.
DD4 came back in and told him she wanted to go to his now. I thought he would leave so I said goodbye but he stayed where he was and picked DD4 up and just hugged her, saying they'd go in a minute.
He stayed for another half hour or so just chatting and playing with DD4, then when he went, he said he'd see me tomorrow night.
Hey! Congratulations on the ol' battle-axe finally leaving! This is cause for celebration!!!
You seem to be so much more aware of your defensiveness 'in the moment' with him, and are doing a great job of recovering. I loved how you handled his controlling behavior (stemming from his anxiety, I think), with the gift of the article. He seemed to recover himself as well, rather than escalating.
I cheered when I read what you noted about preschool for DD4. That was a HUGE cheeseless tunnel for the 2 of you, and you refused to go into that argument. In fact, you planted a nice seed regarding a joint activity for the 3 of you.
He's a louse for only commenting on his socks regarding your outfit, Jo. I'm sure you looked hot!
Maybe andy noticed they matched your dress. My first impression was Andy might be thinking: (she is wearing my socks so maybe she does not hate me or is not as angry or feeling as distant with me today. It is safer to be with her/Jo today or at least the tension between us is less than it was several days ago)
Another thought is he did see the socks matched the dress.
A third thought is She likes what I like.
It was good to hear Andy was not trying to dictate the education of D4 and was pleasant to you.
Giving you the time lines of OW#1 and her bunch moving out was a good sign too. When people want to hurt someone they usually hold on to these details.
You know why he didn't comment on the dress, don't you? Because he prefers what's underneath it!
He was expecting me to have just stepped out of the shower in nothing but a dressing gown, that's why he made the joke about me not being in the shower, and why he said he wanted to dress DD4. He was anticipating me being in a state of undress and maybe my dress was disappointing
I do like it though, I don't normally wear green and I love the feel of silk.
I was ecstatic about EX-OW leaving! I can't believe she's been gone a week and he didn't tell me until now. The only slightly annoying thing is she has got a house round the corner from him and she was supposed to be moving back to Ipswich (5 hours away), now she's within walking distance of his house. Oh well, at least they don't live together anymore.
I am a bit worried that OW2 and her kids will move in with him but he said she's got her own house and doesn't seem keen so I don't think that will happen.
I have to entice him now to break them up and then I will have more of a chance with that house being empty.
I thought about asking to have the kids more now she's gone but then I thought I'd just be rescuing him from the responsibility again, like EX-OW did and like her grown up DD does and like his friends did before that, so I'm not going to ask.
I think being on his own with them in the house for a while will make everything hit home to him and might actually do this family good.
The home ed meeting aren't just for DD4 - he takes all of them so if I went it would be all 6 of us.
Your interpretation sounds most accurate. Especially given that he showed up so early.
All 6 of you would be even better! Its true that he could learn quite a bit handling the girls on his own, yet it might help to heal the family if you have them more as well in the future (not necessarily right away).
When one breaks down a guy can have an automatic back-up. Airplanes have 2 and 4 engines. 
)