Well my opinion is that he crosses boundaries quite a lot. Just in the last few weeks he has said 'I will always love you, you know that', he's sent me a text kiss, he's trying to initiate physical contact and he has talked about sex and made sexual jokes every time we have met easily for the last month.
Given all these facts, I do wish to be treated like a wife, and if he doesn't want to treat me like a wife, then he shouldn't be sex talking etc, which is why I got so angry. Then to suggest his OW come round here, well, that just blew the lid on my temper.
I would never meet with her even if me and him are over. It's just not something that is acceptable to me. In fact, I wouldn't have even met EX-OW but at the time I was court ordered to because Andy refused to meet me to do the child hand overs. That's the only reason I ever met EX-OW and I'm not ever going to again.
I just think it's the most unreasonable thing you can expect your ex to do.
Plus you're right, I wasn't feeling well, I'd missed DD's birthday etc.
I definitely want him to respect me more otherwise we will just keep falling out.
I feel for you. It seems like your XH is in some strange frame of mind. It is very perplexing the way in which he seems to be trying to make a mild reconnection but it has all this other garbage mixed into it. Almost seems like he has lost control of his life and is just floating around behaving irrationally. Good for you that you are drawing boundaries and demanding to be respected. You deserve that, at least. Stay wonderful.
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
Sounds like you're realizing that his values and considerations have shifted notably from yours, or at least from those he held while with you?
Nicely done holding tight to your demand for respectful treatment. It was good for him to have apologized.
IMHO, I think he was testing the waters in a crude way, and your boundary setting was very important and timely. It was cruel for you to have to experience that, b/c I know that love still exists in you for him. I hope you're dousing yourself in some sizable self-care!!
Since I'm filling up this entire board I didn't want you to think I forgot you. Have a great day at the Sherwood forest. Kill one of Robin Hood's merry men for me.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Don't worry about forgetting me. I don't always post on other people's threads as much as I want to because I have been somewhat stressed the last few months.
I didn't kill any men, although I've got to admit, the first person I thought of when you said that was my X, only I really can't imagine him in tights
We went at 10am and I got the usual bout of nausea despite it only being a 45 minute journey. Thankfully we got there before I had turned as green as Robin Hood's hat.
We went and saw the rabbits and guinea pigs and chickens, but DD4 wasn't terribly impressed with them so we saw some goats and sheep which she liked better, and she even fed them out of her hand and wasn't scared. I took loads of photos.
There was this mother pig with about 10 babies all running around everywhere, playing and chasing each other. They reminded me of how human children behave! Then they wanted to suckle from the mother pig so DD4 piped up
'Mummy, those baby piggies are having boobie!'
(I have only just stopped breast feeding DD4 after just over 3 years so she still remembers ).
I told her that animals feed their babies the same way people do.
We went in the children's playground and she had a go on the slides and stuff, and we had a ride on a train on the 'Loxley Line' (Robin Hood's actual title was Robin of Loxley) - she was a bit nervous of the train because of the noise it made.
Then we had lunch in the cafe and walked for miles around woods and fields, being followed by sheep who were actually almost tame and kept nuzzling at DD4.
We finished off the day with her jumping around on a 'bouncy castle' with millions of other kids and she bawled her head off on the way out because she didn't want to go home.
She fell asleep in the bus on the way back because she was so wiped out, and luckily for me, I didn't get motion sickness on the return journey!
I am now tired but DD4 is still up because of falling asleep earlier - haven't even done any housework at all.
