X turned up with DD's this evening while I was doing the ironing so it took me a while to answer the door because I had to switch off the hot iron etc and get rid of the piles of clothes.
X asked how my book was going. I said fine thank you, I've got my own website now.
He and DD's came in, then DD's asked if they could play football with Chloe (girl next door) so I said yes.
X asked to see my charity website (different to the book website). I showed him. He was like 'For God's sake, I designed this, not him!' (the guy that put my site back online for me). It's true, X won Gold Award for best website of the year 2003/04 on his original design. My new programmer lifted a lot of the text and images off his old one. It doesn't look anywhere near as good but as least it's there. X said 'Mine was still better.'
I said
'Yes dear, and I did ask you to do it but you were always too busy so I found a man who can.'
Then I showed him the website for my book and my new business card and...well, he said he was PROUD of me???
He said
'I am proud of you, you know.'
Then he happened to notice 'Being my X Lover's X Lover' as it was listed on my computer, I hadn't shut the DivorceBusting site down before he came in. He said
'My X Lover's X Lover? What is that?'
I said 'Oh no no, you're not looking at that. It's just a site I go on for divorced people!'
I didn't want him reading Jill's comment about leaving men's underwear on the sofa
He asked me for a coffee so I said
'No way, not unless you go in the kitchen too; you just want to look on my computer!'
I asked him to move into the kitchen. He said he couldn't move. He then started trying to get to my thread, so I stood in the way to stop him and I physically grabbed his arm to stop him touching the computer. We ended up having this wrestling match and he was laughing so I started laughing, then DD's came in and they were laughing at us.
I said
'You've got no respect for my things, you lifted my book and read that without asking, and then sent me a letter from your lawyer.'
He said 'actually the computer is mine.'
I forcably pushed him into the kitchen and started making coffees and juices for all the kids, then Kyle (4 year old boy from next door) came in but I didn't get him one. We had a house full.
While I was making the coffee, he went back to my computer so I ran out of the kitchen to stop him, still thinking of Jill's pretend lover comment
I managed to shut it down whilst at the same time physically restraining him, which is difficult as he's 6 foot tall.
It took me about 20 minutes just to make coffee and I couldn't stop laughing. I was thinking, flippin heck, I am supposed to be cold and uninviting.
We sat and drank the coffees and DD3 got a toy tea set and pretended to make us cups of tea. Then DD4 wanted to show her dad magic tricks which consisted of hiding under the sofa cushions
We then talked about the year 2012 (if you type in 2012 into the internet it comes up with all this weird stuff) and we talked about the theory that money is going to end, so I said 'Bloody hell, who will pay for my book then? I'll have to give them away!'
I told him I have bought the dress for the premiere of my film (it's true, I have!) and he started laughing because it isn't even a film yet so we talked about script writing and stuff.
Then we went in the garden to watch DD1 and DD2 playing football and these lads from up the road were chatting up DD1 (she's only 9) so I said to X that I didn't want any horrible boys going anywhere near my DD.
He said they're just playing and she needs a little freedom but I understand why you're nervous. I remember when she was a baby and it just seems weird.
We went back in the house and I gave him DD2's birthday present for next week which he hid.
He complimented me on my clothes, said he was proud of me again, and then said he thought my sofa was 'interesting' (in a tone of voice that suggested he wasn't sure) so I said
'What's wrong with it? It's bright red, my favourite colour!'
He said
'Yeah, it's all that sexual energy you've got.'
I blushed and said I don't know what you're talking about. He said he's read my book.
I said
'Well, I just wrote the marriage as it was; I didn't make anything up.'
He said 'There was sex all the way through.' I said 'Well, there was in real life, that's why I wrote it. Are you suggesting there wasn't.' He said 'No, on the contrary, you had a better appetite than me. I deprived you.'
I don't remember him depriving me, but anyway, I said that is the wonder of divorce, because now I can write a bestseller and make a Hollywood movie out of it!
Then he said he'd forgotten to return DD4's wellie boots so he'd do that tomorrow.
I asked the kids about their camping trip but they came home early due to the rain.
