Yes, sitch wise I am feeling really down - despite all the other exciting things that are happening in my life.
I'm absolutely spitting furious about OW2, about him telling me he loves me and then running, the bully boy tactics, everything.
Then last night I had a nightmare where he was trying to take the children from me (this used to happen frequently during the court proceedings but then it stopped in the year I didn't see him. Now they're back again). I woke up this morning feeling as if I was hungover, and I was down about him before I'd even had breakfast.
I do try to be civil to him but I just feel like I can't pull off the 'act as if' rule when I know he is f**king around with that whore. Ugh.
When I'm not furious, I'm just so sad, and I prefer furious because it hurts less when I'm mad.
I don't read relationship books. I spend my life writing so I don't read very much. I learnt all my DB'ing from that life-coach I had and just by my intuition and knowing his personality really well.
Don't get me wrong - I am happy about my career, I just wish my family was in a better state.
