We got up at 6.30am after getting off to a bad start because she climbed into my bed and then wet herself and I can't change sheets on a king size bed due to balance. If she'd done it in her own bed, I can change that as it's a single one, which means that until this coming Friday when the cleaner arrives, I have to sleep on a mattress.
I was yelling at her at 6.30am so that wasn't great, but anyway, after that problem we walked to the bus station and it pulled up just as we got there.
This other group of people were there and they had got muddled up over which bus they were supposed to catch, so they were telling the driver their names, then DD4 chipped in 'She's Jones and I'm Alicia!' (She's Jones meaning me!). I fell about laughing at her calling me 'Jones' and everyone on the bus laughed at her pronouncement that she's Alicia - so smart for an only just 3 year old because she said it after hearing everyone else give their names.
Made me feel sorry that I'd lost my temper with her, she's so sweet really, it's just a pain that she has to do that in my bed when it's the only chore I can't do aside from gardening.
Anyway, the journey was over 100 miles and I had motion sickness most of the way there - ugh. I've always had it terrible, much worse than any of my kids, and I never grew out of it like my parents said I would.
The air vents were shut off because of being faulty so that's not an experience I want to repeat.
We got there and DD4 said she wanted a Mr Whippy so we bought 2 Mr Whippy's and sat and ate them. Then I bought her a windmill on her request, one of those paper ones which blows in the wind.
Then we went to the beach and had about an hour there, with me trying to help her build sand castles, except the sand was so dry, they kept falling down.
After this hour, the sun went in and it got REALLY cold for July. Last year when we went, it was blazing hot all day, this year it was so cold there were people lying on the beach dressed in big woolie jumpers and sensible hats!
Then this biting head wind happened so people started putting tents up on the beach to protect themselves from the wind. After an hour of that I gave up and took DD4 to this indoor children's play centre called Panda's Palace where she asked to go on every pay-as-you-go ride that there was, so I ended up paying £s but it was worth it to see her enjoying herself.
1 of the rides even took a picture of her with this built in camera. DD4 wanted 2 goes so I'm keeping one picture and giving the other one to her dad. We spent hours in there.
Then as we left, it started pouring down with rain, really bad rain, not just a bit, so we spent a lot of time sitting in cafe's to shelter from the weather and eating chips and mushy peas.
They have all these old fashioned horse and carriages there which you pay to ride around the town in (very 1750's looking) and you know how horses sometimes have visors over their eyes? (I'm not sure if that's the correct name for them), well, as we were walking passed, DD4 said
'Mummy, that horse is wearing glasses!'
Oh, I laughed and so did the woman who was tending to the horse. I told DD4 that I thought she was the cutest girl in the world. She told me to shutup
So anyway, we legged it through the rain, and legging it isn't that fast when it's me so we took cover in a crystal shop where I decided to look at birth gems (different ones have different healing properties) and I found that the birth gem for my month of birth is rose quartz, which is the love stone.
I have used it before to try and bring about a loving atmosphere, and anyway, on the label it said 'WARNING: THIS CAN MAKE YOU VERY FERTILE'
I thought Waay hay, I'm buying that! So I scooped up my love and fertility gem stone and the guy who sold it to me kind of gave me this weird grin and put it in a paper bag for me.
Then we came home a bit early because of the rain. We were supposed to be stopping at a pub but no one wanted to because they were too cold, so we just went home and me and DD4 walked another 15 minutes to our house in the rain and then she wee weed in the garden.
Lovely.
All in all, an interesting day, I'm glad we went but I'm also glad I am staying at home tomorrow.
Had another productive day so far, couple of sales, paid some business bills, answered a few calls on the helpline, went to the post office.
Have booked a day trip to Skipton Medieval Christmas Market in December - it sounded fun because it's medieval, I think DD4 would like that. We're lucky because we booked the last 2 seats on the bus. I can't believe it's fully booked in July!
Tomorrow I am seeing X (ugh - wish me luck, still trying to work out what he's playing at after that text kiss).
Wednesday I will do the business banking and pay for my new domain name, and then I'll see how the publisher is getting on.
Thursday I'm off to college since X will have the kids.
Just stuck trying to think up GAL activities for the weekend.
Good update in terms of my career, not sure in terms of sitch.
Today I sent an email to the publisher as we are all set to go now so he can add the ISBN numbers. I have to approve the final draft version (which was changed after X's lawyer drama) and I'm waiting for him to send me the PDF file to look at, but apart from that, it's pretty much done!
I have also paid for my new website which now works (it only took a few hours for the domain name to work!) - it's at:
I plan to add to it as I write more and put other people's books on there too. I used to do a similar thing when I was married but it had to be stopped after the split.
I feel like I am rising up from the ashes like a phoenix!
RE THE SITCH: X sent me a text message this morning saying he would be here at about 12.30. I didn't get the message because the phone was in my bag and I didn't hear it.
He arrived at 1pm and knocked on the door so loudly I jumped.
I opened the door and told him he knocks like an executioner
DD4 gave him these photos we took of her on a pay and go ride at the beach.
He asked to use the bathroom. I asked if he'd give me a lift to Eastwood (next town along, maybe 4 miles away). We both said yes. So he used the bathroom and I got my stuff together and then we all went in the car to Eastwood.
The girls weren't there so I asked where they were and he said they were already at the campsite. I said it must be close. He said Yorkshire. Yorkshire is not close, it is about 70 miles from here, maybe more. I said 'You left our kids in Yorkshire?' He said they were in very capable hands. I couldn't resist a snide remark, so said 'You mean your other woman 2?' (I actually used those words). 'No' he said, 'it's a home ed camp, there's loads of other people there who can look after them.' Mmmm. I have such confidence. I bet he has taken the old wench. If not, I wonder who on earth is watching my kids?
Anyway, we stopped at a gas station for fuel and he came out of the shop with 2 road maps, 1 of which he said was for EX-OW because her's has fallen apart. I watched him walking back to the car with these maps and felt really down and it was obviously in my face as he said 'Wow, you look glum today. Are you alright??' Well, you've dumped me for the 6th time, you're friends with EX-OW, you now have shag piece number 2, you're going away without me, you sent me a letter from your lawyer and you've left my DD's in sodding Yorkshire, but yeah I'm great
Of course I didn't say that, I just thought it. I looked at his maps and said 'What do you need a map for if you've already taken them? That's great if you've lost them in Yorkshire!' He laughed.
We got to Eastwood and he asked me a few questions about my book and then he left, DD4 said goodbye to me and X beeped his horn at me so loudly that some pedestrians turned around to see what the fuss was.
I laughed nervously at this woman standing on the sidewalk looking startled, and said 'Don't mind him, he's only my X husband!' and then I went into the bank.
Nicely done on the website! And great news on the book finalizing.
Your posts sounds like you were in a rough mood and let it out a bit toward him. I like how you held further digs back, tho. I know he is triggering negative emotion from you right now, but try to keep acting "as-if" in a more positive tone, as this seems to get him to act more positively in return, at least as your posts have read over the past 4-5 wks.
It also seems like you are feeling your care for him more, at least from your glum reaction to his presence. Have you done any reading or thinking about this by yourself lately? I say this 'cause I realized I've let my reading decline over the past 4-5 months, and I don't want stagnate or become complacent.
Yes, sitch wise I am feeling really down - despite all the other exciting things that are happening in my life.
I'm absolutely spitting furious about OW2, about him telling me he loves me and then running, the bully boy tactics, everything.
Then last night I had a nightmare where he was trying to take the children from me (this used to happen frequently during the court proceedings but then it stopped in the year I didn't see him. Now they're back again). I woke up this morning feeling as if I was hungover, and I was down about him before I'd even had breakfast.
I do try to be civil to him but I just feel like I can't pull off the 'act as if' rule when I know he is f**king around with that whore. Ugh.
When I'm not furious, I'm just so sad, and I prefer furious because it hurts less when I'm mad.
I don't read relationship books. I spend my life writing so I don't read very much. I learnt all my DB'ing from that life-coach I had and just by my intuition and knowing his personality really well.
Don't get me wrong - I am happy about my career, I just wish my family was in a better state.
I'm okay thanks jdd, a bit lonely but then I guess that is a problem for a lot of us.
Had a really bad headache and spent a day in bed, it's cycle related so I must look at changing my diet. I started getting headache and migraine when I ate more dairy stuff so I reckon I should go back to a wholefood diet as I only had 1 migraine in 8 years then.
Nothing else has happened re my sitch - Andy and the girls will be back tomorrow evening and I'm glad because I really miss them.
I did have some friends round on Thursday but I was in such pain with the headache that I couldn't concentrate.
I've done a new business card for my book, 'the ultimate happily ever after story' - LOL (well, it was in March anyway )
If you want to see it, go to my site www.novelbookshop.com and click on the 'Contact Us' page, I think it's great.
I intend to give them out to libraries and small book shops to see if I can get more customers.
Nice job on the business card, it looks very attractive.
Sorry to hear about your migraine, I have only had one, but my W has had tons of them. She can not have caffiene, so after we figured that out she has them sparingly.
I think my migraine's are because of milk - as I didn't used to have milk in my diet at all (I don't like it). I used to have soy - I just hate the taste of milk. Now I have it in tea and coffee and in food where I can't taste it, and since then, about 2 years ago, I have these terrible migraine's usually one every 3 months or so and also a bad headache which happens 1 day before my period, every month on the dot.
That's how I know my period will be here, because I'm stuck in bed the day before with a headache.
I can get rid of the migraine's by drinking peppermint tea straight away and it stops it, but I can't do anything about the cycle related headaches.
Re the book, I'm not sure when it will be for sale. The publisher is supposed to be sending me the final draft to approve and he hasn't yet. All the proof reading and spell checking etc has been done and the name change thing that Andy wanted.
As soon as I get this draft, the publisher will get the ISBN numbers and send the book to press - but he's being slow, or maybe I'm just too hurried
)