Ha! I cracked up when reading about DD1's matchmaking antics! I've caught S5 doing the same sort of thing. I think he asks W to call me at times 'cause I know that he can use the phone. He's taking pictures now - I've bought him disposable cameras to use - and yesterday he said that he wanted to take a picture of W and me - together of course.
You feed your man chocolate out of your hand?! Wow, I'd be racing home for that! Sounds like your positivity is having a nice effect on him, Jo. Not sure where that will lead, but it sounds much better than the antagonism he was showing earlier.
Jo, good to see you back posting. I was worried about the bloke and meathead thing qoe100 and I had would offend you. I said my part to let you know there is a difference between the two types of guys. I did not want you to think someone in the US was implying some of the bloke friends you might or might not have were looked down upon.
I read your post about you and Andy still loving each other but the fighting and all of the differences still keeping you apart. It's sad this is going on in so many R here on the DBing site.
I watched a video about UK railroad history 1830 to 1945 and thought of one of the houses you live in next to the railway.
Anyway, happy to see you have a book about to be published. Best wishes for you and the girls, Lou
Oh don't worry, I'm not offended. It takes a lot to offend me. I know not all men are really blokey and even some blokey blokes are nice - my little definition was a bit stereotypical as some Brits just say 'bloke' to mean 'man', except that these are the images that the slang word creates.
Some of my nicest friends are American and the American men I know seem on the whole to be less 'blokey' than British men.
X got drunk at BIL's house last year, lost consciousness and later woke up wearing a full length black coat but with no clothes on underneath, lying face down on the floor, and he couldn't remember where his clothes were, who the coat belonged to or why he was on BIL's hall floor.
He told me about it as if it was hilarious, and that isn't the only time either. He's well into his drunken escapades, pool matchs, football and pubs. I think it's a British thing - although I reckon Americans are more into meat and steaks than we are.
My railway cottage had a railway line right out the front and another two lines running round the back, so it was sandwiched between 3 lines. It was 1860 with no heating and I LOVED it there. Happiest 4 years of my life in that cottage.
Yes I agree it's sad when 2 people love each other and can't be together. I feel I've done everything I can and all I can do is try and be peace maker. Sometimes if you can't help someone grow you have to let them go so you don't hold up their growth.
Maybe it will work out, probably it won't. All I know is, he will have a place in my heart for the rest of my life and I will in his - but I'm not sure we are marriage material anymore.
Oh yeah, we both used to feed each other. He fed me strawberries quite often, I fed him grapes, gave him my last Rolo in the packet etc. People do, don't they?
Used to wash his hair also and he'd bring me wine in the bath. Ah, those were the days What I would give to have that level of closeness and intimacy again.
I can't believe your W never fed you chocolate, you poor man!
We even went in little rowing boats before the kids were born and he read me poetry
My publisher wrote me a scathing email because of the name change thing so I phoned X and read him the email. We got into an argument about how he is always controlling me and he said he was mad because I didn't get 'parental permission' - I said I am the parent. He said he meant him, he is the parent. How the heck can you deal with someone who genuinely doesn't see you as the children's mother?
Anyway, I put the phone down on him in tears but then stopped crying when I noticed that Gabriel was also going through it, and I realised that I am not the only one with an awkward ex and that I was probably being a baby for crying anyway, so I pulled myself together.
X then sent me a text message saying that I always did what I wanted in the marriage and surely it was time for me to try a different approach.
I text him back saying 'we are divorced, I don't have to try anything and I'll be glad when DD4 is grown up and I don't have to put up with you anymore.'
Then I sent him a copy of the scathing email from publisher plus a copy of my reply email to the publisher that I was annoyed with X for being so inconsiderate when he's had 2 years to discuss names with me.
Today I was walking back from Lunch Time, Play Time with DD4 when he sent me another text, saying thank you for the email and that he's going away for the weekend and wants to take DD4. He's visiting OW2, I know as DD1 said, and not only that, I have a trip to the beach booked this weekend and I let X know this about 3 months ago.
I just text back 'I can't help you as we are away too'.
He has not responded. Now here's the funny bit, I've been altering the book till 2am this morning and then again for half the afternoon, just finished it so I was using the browse function to attach the document to send it back to the publisher, when I came across this document of X's.
It was a love poem, written by himself for OW2, on 25th May 05 (only 1 month after he left me again) and in it he refers to her as 'online lover' - now if she was already 'online lover' by then, he must have tried it on with her pretty much straight away after breaking off with me, BUT, I'm not bothered about that because I'm getting to the funny bit.
I read through this declaration of love from him to her and the admission that he was 'lost' until she came along
Guess what the title of his poem was??
Shite.
I'm not kidding. The title of his love poem to OW2 is Shite!!
I convulsed in hysterical laughter for several minutes and now I can breathe again.
What a dork to ask you to take the youngest to an outing with OW2! Nicely done having plans already set up. I winced reading that you ran across the love poem. That really stinks... but then so might Shite.
Sorry to hear about the editing of the text due to the names. That's a major pain in the rear, isn't it?
Thanks for your email late last night (especially for you!). That felt like a lifeline.
LOL, don't worry I wasn't upset by the poem, exactly the opposite. Actually, I found something similar with EX-OW; I think he leaves them where he knows I will find them to upset me except it didn't upset me because it's too pathetic
The thing I find sad is he seems to think that happiness comes from a R - he is lonely and confused and lost when he thought that D would buy him happiness, and then it didn't so he surrounds himself with friends and women and launches from one R to another, first with me, then not, then with EX-OW, then me, then this new one straight away as soon as he's finished with me if not before.
He seems to be searching for this unobtainable Goddess that is so perfect and agrees with 100% of what he thinks, yet he will never find that, hence him yo-yoing round all these R's.
I on the other hand, don't feel the need for a man to make me happy. I am the only one who can make me happy and I don't feel less because there is no man in my life. On the contrary, I was miserable when I thought I *should* get a man because that's what people *expect*.
I realised I was happier when I didn't date and happier just being me. When I realised I should do what I want for me and gave up the men, I was so much more content.
Today I'm at a place where if I fall in love, then great, that would be an unexpected blessing, but if I never do, I am quite happy being single and I don't care if that's forever because I like being me enough not to need anyone else.
I've got my DD4, a nice home, some good friends and a career which keeps on getting more exciting. I have my studies and various hobbies I do. To me that's enough. The only thing I miss about being married is sex, and to be honest it doesn't feel any good unless I'm in love, so I'm quite happy to go without - I don't have to spend so much money on therapeutic lotions when I am abstinant anyway, so it even has health benefits!
My focus has shifted so much over the last few weeks - I am really enjoying being single.
Today I booked some more trips; I've got a trip to the beach with DD4 on Sunday, then I've booked a trip to this park where it is 'Pirate' week - I presume there will be pirate related activities.
I've got a picnic planned with loads of other people, a visit to a second park, cup and plate making with DD4 and this 'exotic cuisine' day where we are going to go and taste food from around the world.
I'm really looking forward to all this stuff, it's going to be great!
Those GAL plans sound excellent. Isnt such GAL stuff a great buffer against the noise and turmoil that the WAS can insert here and there?
I found myself counting my blessings yesterday evening as well. Things are going well when I bother to think about other events in my life. Good to see you noting that as well.
Again, nicely done with the plans. Will you be dressing up for the Pirate outing? I've always had a thing for those hot pirate wenches.
I will not be dressing up as a pirate I think that maybe there will be some entertainers who possibly will.
Well, the fertility clinic rang me and they say they have found 2 women on their waiting list who are an exact blood match with me and they have given them a few non-identifying details about me, and they know about the Greek genes but they've said they want me as the donor! I was worried because this is a British clinic that maybe the women would only want British genes, but no, they are happy to accept!
She said she wants to start me on the drugs on day 21 of my cycle but she left a message on my answerphone stating that she thought day 1 was the 28th - well, my period isn't due till the 30th so I must phone back on Monday and tell her that, as it affects the dates they will give me the drugs.
Oh gosh, this is so exciting! Those women must be really happy!
Other news: My registration details arrived from the university for my law degree! That's exciting too. It starts 4th February next year. They've given me �590 grant towards my studies for that academic year, because of having a low income, so I am well happy!
Sounds like your positivity is having a nice effect on him, Jo. Not sure where that will lead, but it sounds much better than the antagonism he was showing earlier.
What I would give to have that level of closeness and intimacy again.
