Hello Everyone and thanks for your concern. Things with me like always go back and forward. Sometimes we do really good but then there are a lot of times that we can't get along. The reason for this is...scratches on H arm...Kiss mark on his work truck window...phone calls...and text messages. Let me ask you all a question....If all of this was going on and you were the one that had the affair and you were trying to make your marriage work....could you be mean to your spouse that finally breaks down. Well, when I finally broke down and said that all of the things were starting to bug me....H said that I make these things up and that my mind wonders, that I am psycho, a cu*t. Instead of saying that we can make it through this and things will be fine. Tell me if I am wrong but I feel that if he really loves me then he would be nice and when I finally started crying out of frusteration that he would do anything to comfort me and not be extremely rude and mean to me. I got tired of going on this site and feeling like I do now...confused and like I am a baby because I am not good at all of this. Honestly, all I want is to be loved and appreciated...I want to forgive and move on but at the same time I want it to be over. I saw that he texted messaged the OW two weeks ago and stated that he loved her and missed her and wanted to spend his morning, noon, and nights together. How does he expect me to just never remember this. I dont bring it up but I am always so afraid to argue with him because I don't want to push him into her arms that I do everything possible to not let any arguments occur...but of course today when the kiss mark and he "worked" in her area, she was off of work...Ge what could make me fall.
I see that all of you get stronger on this site and I am like one of those that holds everyone back. I honestly do not know what to do and I am so confused. I want so much for my marriage to work out but at the same time Hannah and I deserve to be happy all of the time. I hate wondering everyday. When we get along it feels so wonderful and I want it to be like that always stay that way but I am tired of hurting and I do know why I let it continue. Is there something wrong with me that it is so hard to move on?
