BQT - I know how hard this is for you as do alot of others as we are all in similair sitch's or have been. There comes a time when you have to ask yourself how much is enough. Yes I understand you desperately want your H back but you cannot make it happen no matter what you do or how you change or what you allow him to get away with you cannot make him be faithful and you cannot make him want to be with you. I have tried all this every way possible and it is their decision to make and we cannot influence it in any way as much as we secretly try to. Yep all our efforts ever do is push them to OW and don't worry they will lie about it over and over and you will never know the truth until you catch them out and they will lie when they are caught out - How do I know this b/c I have been there but BQT I am at a different point now (well this week at least, I hope it stays though) I have finally accepted after 8 months that I cannot make my H want what I want, I can only look after me and that is a very scary propect for me and my kids to be on our own but I can do it. I know it will be hard and at times very very lonely. I am someone who loves the company of my H, I love to snuggle and love the intamacy but i will have to learn to love other things as you have to as well. I think you have to cast your H free and see what happens. If he wants to be with you he will realise it one day maybe a week from now maybe a year from now and who knows where you will be or what you will think but you can worry about that if and when it happens. BQT please start living for you and your one year old and nobody else, start making a new life and if H is meant to be in it well he will be when the time is right. Dont delude yourself if your H is messaging OW with messages like you said then it is not over and he is playing you for a sucker. He has the best of both worlds at the moment as he has 2 woman after him and if that is not flattering to a male ego I don't know what is. I know it sounds harsh and you probably don't want to hear it but maybe it is best for him to move out and for you both to find yourselves. This is just my thoughts and it is said with all the kindness I can give and maybe you are not ready or not as far along as me and if that is the case that is o.k. as we are all at different life stages on these boards but we are all here to support you and offer varying points of view so as you can make the best decision for you and your sitch at the time. We don't judge you so do not feel afraid to talk to us no matter what you do or don't do we all backslide and we all make mistakes so update us and don't even worry about what you say here as this is what this if for. I hope you are feeling a bit better BQT and give us an update or at least let us know you are O.K......KDU
