BQT - my opinion has not budged one inch. The man does not set foot in your home without some intensive, long-term anger management counselling. As soon as he laid a hand on you (and you never answered whether this was the first time??) he lost the right to be your husband, LET ALONE the right to chose between you and Melinda.
Did you tell the church about the abuse? You seem more concerned about OW than about the abuse (which I find chilling), so that may have affected their advice. If you did tell them about the violence, and they still encourage you to reconcile, then I question their counsel. I know my own church is heavily involved with a women's shelter and my minister would have zero tolerance for abuse. He would view his role as finding me a safe haven and providing a community of support during my rebuilding and liberation from H.
Michelle, I know I'm being very harsh here, but I feel so strongly about this, ok?
I think the world of you, and want the best for you.
