I too have just finished reading your thread and have been in EXACTLY the same place you are right now but about 1.5months ago. My D3,S5,D7 to this day still talk about when H got physical with me. (of course he blames it all on me and i took it too) My D3 now tells everyone about our 'FIGHT' and what daddy did to mommy, not a topic i want her telling anyone let alone complete strangers. So learn from me and mine do not take the blame from his anger, don't let him back in the house and if Hannah (my D3 is Hannah)saw explain to her that this is not how mommys and daddys should be with one another. I now tell my kids hands are for praying not hitting. My S5 says and for picking up toys hahaha. My H says that i am the only one that can make him this mad and bring out all this anger in him. (what about the holes in girlfriends walls before we met...he says oh well i was drinking then....they always have an excuse)just like it's our fault they are with OW. Yes take pictures of any marks and just make sure they are not faded out in photograph (advice given by attorney)
I would love to tell you to tell him he needs help but know from my own experience with H that he may say ok or that he'll get help for it but it is doubtful at this point as nothing he is doing is his fault in his mind and this is according to my H just one more reason that we shouldn't be together. (the smartest thing he has said but he's using it as a reason to be with OW not because he's concerned with his own anger issues.)so please be careful. I know you will want to trust him that it won't happen again but it did for me and the second time was worse and all my fault again.
I know its hard as you can see i am still working on my marriage but as i am reading the advice i am giving you and am wondering why i am, H cheats, lies, sneaks, hurts me emotionally and physically...is this what we want our children to learn from us...be strong and work it out while being someones doormat and punching bag?!? My S5 said to me today...Mommy why don't you just hang up the phone on daddy????!!!! Pretty sad that a 5yr old has to know and think and teach us these things but everyday it is all becoming more and more clear to me...i didn't end this marriage H did by having A and now being physical on top of it... is this what i want my kids to think is a normal marriage and what they should endure in one. NO its not what i want mine to think...so i guess we need to respect ourselves enough to save our children from any more damage.
Just wanted you to know that you are not alone at all. Hope some of this helps you as writing it to you has certainly helped me...thank you for sharing and letting me share back
